Keira-anne.com

I have a daily habit of combing through Craigslist. Not the classifieds in general, but the apartments for rent specifically. It’s partially because I’m always interested to see what kinds of places people are renting out, but mostly because I’m desperate to get out of my current abode.

Photo: ♥ellie♥ on Flickr

One thing I’ve noticed is that the eye-catching apartments seem to be few and far between. Some words you might find in the initial line of an ad?

• bright
• lots of space
• updated kitchen
• renovated!
• outdoor space
• great location

More often than not, upon clicking the ad you’ll quickly discover that you’ve been deceived into clicking and that none of these descriptions are true. Further, so many of the photos feature over-stuffed studio apartments with one sad window trying its hardest to let a scrap of sunshine in through the bed sheet covering the pane.

My heart would pitter-patter should I just once click an ad with those very same descriptions and be presented with something such as this…

Photo: lucasfoxbcn on Flickr

And in those rare occurrences in which a potential apartment hunter find a gem of a home to call one’s own, the difficulty doesn’t stop there. Many rental ads will read something like this:

“We have a fantastic two bedroom apartment for rent with many updates throughout. You’ll be charmed by the character, the space, bright windows and brand new appliances. We are looking for a quiet, professional, long-term tenant.

Please be aware that there is no laundry on site. We do not accept smokers. ABSOLUTELY NO PETS! There is a great outdoor space but no BBQs allowed.

Thanks – we look forward to hearing from you!”

Do you see the problem?

Having a mortgage helper has become somewhat of an essential part of home ownership in Vancouver. And with that comes an incredible amount of hard-working, honest people who wish to have a place to call home but can’t pony up for mortgage down-payments.

We want a warm, homey space. We’d like to be able to live quietly with our dog or two cats or three parakeets. We’d love to open the back door and have a few friends over for a BBQ in the summertime. We’d love to wash our clothes without hauling sacks of laundry to the corner laundromat. We’d love to be a helpful, responsible contributor to your mortgage and we’d definitely like to stay a while.

When an apartment doesn’t offer any sense of a normal life, it is going to attract the kind of tenant a landlord probably doesn’t want. The solution is simple.

If you want “quiet, professional, long-term” tenants, entice those potential tenants with a truly quality home.

Vicious beatings, crude instruments for prodding, verbal degradation, humiliation, chains and cuffs and megalomaniacal antagonists. While all of these sound like key elements from your humble narrator’s favourite Rob Zombie flick, they’re a part of everyday life for elephants in the Ringling Bros. Circus.

Last week PETA released the “fruits” of months of intense undercover investigation behind the largest and oldest traveling circus in the United States. Disturbing video footage screams loud and clear the heinous accounts of blatant animal abuse perpetrated against these gentle giants.

Former Jackass and circus entertainer, Steve-O, recently teamed up with PETA in this video to speak out against these crimes. If you can get past his silly laughter, he does make some good points.

A formal complaint has now been filed with the United States Department of Agriculture and all evidence collected has been submitted. It’s my hope that the beatings will stop and the elephants (and other animals) will instead be sent to sanctuaries to enjoy the rest of their lives in peace. If you’d like to lend your voice to the cause, please click here to easily send an e-mail to the USDA’s Secretary of Agriculture, Thomas J. Vilsack.

The other day, as I spooned myself a bowlful of yogurt with lunch, I decided to check out the ingredient list out of curiosity. I always like to know how much sugar I’m consuming. To my surprise, I discovered that my beloved Island Farms yogurt contains gelatin. After a quick e-mail to them, followed by a prompt and pleasant reply, I was happy to learn that a new line of 2% Pro-Plus yogurt was being introduced to the Island Farms family – and it’s gelatin-free! And not only that, Island Farms confirmed to me that all their ice cream is also gelatin-free. Phewf!

However, my discovery prompted me to do some further research into animal by-products in food. Imagine my upset over learning not only what rennet is, but also that it’s used in many, many cheeses to coagulate the milk.

What is rennet? A complex of enzymes derived from the inner stomach of baby calves and is therefore a by-product of the cattle slaughter industry.

Dried and cleaned stomachs of young calves are sliced into small pieces and then put into saltwater or whey, together with some vinegar or wine to lower the pH of the solution. After some time (overnight or several days), the solution is filtered. The crude rennet that remains in the filtered solution can then be used to coagulate milk. About 1 gram of this solution can normally coagulate 2000 to 4000 grams of milk. Today this method is used only by traditional cheese-makers in central Europe: Switzerland, Jura, France, Romania, and Alp-Sennereien in Austria.

Most hard cheeses, such as cheddar and Monterey Jack, list rennet as a key ingredient. Though thankfully, most varieties of mozzarella, brie (including Little Qualicum Cheeseworks’ brie), goat cheese, cream cheese, cottage cheese, etc. is made without rennet. And further, many cheeses are now offered with a vegetarian-based coagulate. Read your labels, kids.

Lucky for me, all this means is being much more conscious about my grocery shopping selections instead of foregoing cheese altogether.

As a recent dog owner, what becomes quite clear is not only the division between those who own dogs and those who don’t, but also the division between dog owners themselves. However, whether we find ourselves with a canine companion or not, there are some unspoken rules that we can all benefit from. That is, of course, in my humble opinion (which you’re all entitled to).

In no particular order…

10. Jordy and I recently came across a man with his two dogs, one of which was a dachshund. Without warning, the dachshund lurched at Jordy, sending him into a tailspin and leaving me to quickly get my balance to avoid crushing Jordy after being tripped by the dachshund’s leash. Point being: keep your dog(s) under your control at all times for everyone’s safety.

9. If my 12-pound furball trots onto the elevator and you scream like a school girl, guess who looks like the moron. If you’re not fond of dogs, then believe me, there are plenty of apartment buildings in Vancouver that don’t allow them at all.

8. Get your dog spayed or neutered! All points of the globe are already over-run with a severely swollen population problem, so please don’t contribute to it by breeding your dog for a quick buck. You have zero control over what will happen to those puppies, and half will most likely end up dead or in shelters due to your irresponsibility.

7. Like humans, dogs have allergies and can be intolerant to some foods. Never give a dog treats or food without explicit permission of the owner first. The last thing we dog owners need is a $100 vet bill because you thought it would be cute to feed our dogs a bite of your lunch.

6. Invite good karma into your life and buy me this t-shirt. Size small, please.

5. Dogs will positively thrive when you provide a structured, disciplined and loving environment for them. Not only will it encourage their emotional health and well-being, it will also instill confidence in them for the times you’re not around.

4. Both Vancouver and Vancouver Island are full of terrific off-leash spots for your dog. However, being off-leash is a privilege, not a right. If your dog’s misbehaving, show her who’s boss.

3. Ask first, pet later. I’d never walk up to your child and give him or her a hug, so please refrain from walking up to my dog and nuzzling or petting him without asking first. It’s intrusive and inappropriate. This is, of course, negated at dog parks where dog piles are an inevitability.

2. In the same vein, when walking your dog, make sure it’s okay to approach another dog before doing so. When an owner is trying to work with and train his or her dog to obey and “walk nicely,” your playful dog can be a huge distraction and derail the entire process.

1. Pick up the poop! Do I need to say it again? Pick up the poop! Leaving your dog’s poop on the sidewalk to smear, squish and rot in the sun is both disgusting from the standpoint of human decency, but also contravenes City of Vancouver by-laws. Pick up the poop!

To all of you responsible dog owners out there, thank you! Both dogs and people are a part of every community, so it’s important to have an understanding both ways. If you have something else to contribute, please feel free to do so in the comments.

And lastly, if you’re considering bringing a dog into your home, remember the rule of thumb: Adopt, Don’t Shop!

I was still in diapers when my family moved from Port Hardy to the Comox Valley in 1982. The Valley has always been and will always be home and, as such, has also always been an immense source of pride. Today I feel shame.

It’s a community comprised primarily of three towns – Courtenay, Comox and Cumberland – and is a community born out of a vibrant history. Though, like any community with deep roots, the stories are often marred. When Cumberland was a booming mining town in the late 1800s, it was also home to North America’s second largest Chinatown as well as a substantial Japanese population. These immigrant workers were brought in simply to risk their lives doing the most hazardous of mining jobs that others would not do. Countless immigrants died in doing so.

Much of Cumberland’s Chinatown was destroyed in a fire in 1936 that originated in a chop suey house; the area was never rebuilt. And further, in 1942 amongst the shadows of World War II, the entire local Japanese population was ordered to be shipped to internment camps in the interior of British Columbia.

Neither population recovered from these decimating events. One could say that these were the first examples of blatant racism in the Valley’s history.

As I grew up, the Comox Valley’s population was predominantly comprised of Caucasian people of European descent. Being that the Island is still home to many First Nations reserves, there has also always been a sizable native population. In junior high I had one girlfriend who had immigrated with her family from South Korea, and went to high school with a brother and sister from Pakistan. The number of black families in the community could be counted on one hand.

While the diversity of the Comox Valley has certainly increased over the last decade, what has always been apparent to me, however, is that none of this ever seemed to matter. We all had our respective backgrounds, history and ancestry, but that was just a matter of fact – not a matter for tact. The idea of any form of racism in the Comox Valley seemed entirely outlandish to me.

There are still numerous men who drive their trucks around the Valley with Confederate flags emblazoned in the front license plate holders, but I always assumed they were paying tribute to The Dukes of Hazzard rather than knowing what it symbolizes. It would seem that I am incorrect. A recent event in the parking lot across from the Courtenay McDonald’s restaurant has changed what I thought I knew in an instant.

Last Friday a 38-year-old landscape artist by the name of Jay Phillips was accosted, cornered and both verbally and physically attacked by three young men between the ages of 19 and 25. In broad daylight, Phillips was bombarded with fists, kicks, racial slurs and threats of lynching. What his cowardly attackers did not expect, however, was that the man well-versed in mixed martial arts was prepared to fight back – and he did.

“If nobody says anything or does anything, they’re going to do this again,” Phillips stated in a local news interview. The attack, which was caught entirely on video and subsequently posted on YouTube, was the silver lining. “Otherwise it would have been three or five guys’ word against mine,” he said. “I don’t want this shit to ever happen ever again.”

The three men have been identified, arrested and charged with assault. The RCMP are currently investigating and further charges of a hate crime are pending.

I applaud Jay Phillips for standing up, for using his voice and for fighting back against such a disgusting display of ignorance and hate. The kind of behavior perpetrated against Mr. Phillips simply cannot – and will not – be tolerated. It is my hope that by his brave example, more people will be strong enough to resist backing down and instead fight for love and acceptance.

During my training to teach pre-school, we were told a story of a group of 15 pre-schoolers that were engaged in a sharing circle together. Each child was instructed to say something about the other children that makes each of them different or unique. One child was permanently bound to a wheelchair, and when it came to his turn, his classmates took turns praising his artistic skills, his fun laugh, his willingness to share and exclaiming that he always had the best snacks. Not one single child noted that his wheelchair made him different or unique.

Perhaps we can all take take our cues from the uncorrupted.

I’ve been feeling like there’s a bit of a rain cloud over my head the last few days. While I could be a deceptive blogger and writing about ponies and rainbows in an attempt to make you all think I feel peachy, let’s be candid with each other, no?

In the spirit of all things Eeyore, I present to you an incomplete list of things that drive this girl nuts (and then some)…

• being cut off by cars in a crosswalk
• my bangs (actually, all my hair right now, generally speaking)
• stepping onto an elevator to discover it’s suffocating with cologne or perfume
• stepping off of an elevator to discover a horde of people fighting like vultures to get on before I get off
• text messaging
• people that say they’ll call and then don’t
• when people type or spell a lot as alot
• tourists that lollygag on the sidewalk when I’m trying to get to work
• checking my voicemail
• people that don’t keep their dogs on leashes when walking down the street
• LOL-ing… who really sits at their computer laughing out loud? (as well, excessive and unnecessary emoticon use)
• student loans
• people that don’t know the difference between their, there, and they’re (this annoyance also applies to differences between your and you’re, as well as too, to and two)
• when radio stations play edited versions of songs… isn’t that compromising artistic integrity?
• being told I’m needed for something at the last minute – sudden and unexpected change invokes temper tantrums
• PC computers

Feel free to add to the list.

On May 19, 2009, I sent an e-mail to BC Ferries. Aside from the Customer Service office, I also sent this e-mail directly to the Captain of Fleet Operations for routes between Vancouver Island and the Lower Mainland, the Manager of Community Relations and the Liaison Committee contact for the Horseshoe Bay to Departure Bay route. A week passed and I received no response in any manner – not even so much as a confirmation that my concerns were being forwarded to the appropriate persons for review.

I then re-sent the e-mail and asked for a proper response by end-of-business on Friday, May 29, 2009. Friday came and went with not a word. I have just e-mailed all the materials to Chris Olsen of CTV’s Olsen On Your Side. Here’s hoping that he will contact me.

Until then, for your reading and viewing displeasure, here are the photographs and the letter sent to BC Ferries to which I received no response.

BC Ferries Corporation
1112 Fort Street
Victoria, British Columbia
V8V 4V2 Canada

To: BC Ferries Customer Service

To: Captain Dale Phipps, Marine Superintendent, Fleet Operations

To: Jason Bowman, Horseshoe Bay/Departure Bay Liaison Committee

To: Sarah Cotton, Manager of Community Relations

Re: Customer Service and Pet Policy on BC Ferries Vessels

I am a member of the public and a lifelong resident of British Columbia. Travel on BC Ferries has always been a part of my life and will continue to be. The service provided is essential to all British Columbians and is an important means of travel for those visiting our Province.

What has always been apparent to me is that exceptional customer service is of penultimate importance to BC Ferries, second only to passenger safety. This is evident in the planning, staffing and expert operation of the corporation and its fleet.

I have long been aware that BC Ferries has upheld a pet policy stating that pets can be transported on the vessels but that they must remain on vehicle decks at all times during the voyage (with the exception of guide dogs). Until recently, I was never a pet owner and was therefore unaffected by this policy. As I travel frequently on BC Ferries – up to several times each month – and now own a pet, I believe that this is something I need to very clearly address to BC Ferries Corporation.

Several weeks ago I was a passenger on the new and beautiful Coastal Renaissance ship and, as expected, stayed in the pet area with my small dog. While the room is bright and enclosed to avoid engine exhaust and cold air, I found it far less than comfortable. Many of the very basic amenities that BC Ferries passengers have come to expect were entirely unavailable to me. There was no washroom for me to use, no water fountain to provide fresh drinking water for my dog or myself (the installation of a vending machine for food might also be thoughtful), no heat or other electric source, wire-mesh chairs that were unbelievably uncomfortable for a near two-hour voyage and – most importantly – I was unable to hear any safety announcements and was therefore completely unaware of what to do or where to go in the event of an emergency. With the new luxury vessels that BC Ferries has recently welcomed into its fleet, the corporation had a great opportunity to ensure that an adequate area for pets and passengers would be installed, but it has failed in this regard.

For the time being after that trip, I had resigned myself to this as being my only option as a passenger, but still found it incredible that I was being charged the exact same fare as the numerous other passengers who were able to enjoy not only the most basic of amenities, but also the abundant passenger services that BC Ferries offers on its vessels. All this while my dog and I were essentially quarantined to a steel-walled room on a vehicle deck.

Over the recent long weekend, I was a passenger once again on the Departure Bay to Horseshoe Bay route, this time riding on the Queen of Oak Bay (this was, to the best of my recollection, the ship making the 2:00 p.m. voyage). Upon viewing the pet and passenger area on this ship, it was plain to see that the area contains a vast number of gross inadequacies including, but not limited to, the following:

• A floor that was entirely covered in a flakey layer of rust. I refused to allow my pet to even set foot on this floor. Any animal not properly vaccinated could easily be subjected to illness or disease;
• No part of the area had been sanitized within a recent period of time, if at all;
• One of the safety gates was entirely missing from the 1-foot gap between the wall and the exterior of the ship. Any smaller dog such as a chihuahua or terrier could have easily slipped between the bars and quite literally into the ocean;
• No source of running water for animals to consume;
• No speaker through which to hear safety announcements;
• A confined space not large enough to accommodate more than two or three dogs;
• Exposure to excessive exhaust and toxic pollutants from vehicles; and
• A lack of basic amenities that all passengers should be able to access, including a washroom, drinking water, comfortable air temperature, comfortable seating, et cetera.

I have attached a number of photographs that I took yesterday to further illustrate the points and conditions outlined above. Were any pet owner to continually maintain such conditions at home for their pet, I have no doubt that said animal would be seized by the British Columbia Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (BC-SPCA).

After about 30 minutes of cold, rushing air and sea spray entering the pet and passenger area, I moved towards the inside area of the vehicle deck for some respite. A crew member came up to me and my dog soon after and told me I could move to one of the stairwell landings between vehicle decks because, in his words, “at least you’ll be a little bit warmer.” I cannot even begin to imagine how much worse winter trips will be when temperatures dip well below zero degrees.

While the gesture offered by your crew member was incredibly kind, I have one question for you: do you feel these are really and truly accommodations deemed appropriate and sufficient for paying customers of BC Ferries?

Another British Columbia transit authority operating out of the Greater Vancouver area, TransLink, also provides essential transport services for residents and tourists in British Columbia. The pet policy as stated on TransLink’s official website is as follows:

“Travelling with a furry friend? Welcome aboard! Pets, including dogs, cats, rabbits and small fur-bearing or feathered animals are allowed on transit as long as they are in small, hand-held cages. The cage or container must fit on your lap or at your feet.”

I think it is fantastic that TransLink welcomes pets, within reason, on buses, Skytrains and the Seabus. Guide dogs, naturally, are also always welcome. However, that being said, a dog is a dog is a dog. If BC Ferries prohibits pets with the exception of guide dogs on the basis that they are either: 1) allergy-inducing; or 2) a potential for mess through urination or bowel movements, then these grounds are moot. A guide dog can cause the same potential issues as any pet, so the reasons behind the policy would be irrelevant.

Like TransLink, I would encourage BC Ferries to amend their pet policy to allow small, well-behaved, contained animals in some passenger areas (with the exception of food services areas and childrens’ play areas) in the interests of passenger and pet comfort as well as to maintain the top-notch customer service that BC Ferries has become known for.

While a policy amendment would be most ideal and, in my opinion reasonable, what is most crucial in the immediate circumstance is that the alarming and horrific safety and sanitary deficiencies be remedied immediately. I believe that this truly is in the best interest of BC Ferries.

I can’t imagine that I am the only BC Ferries passenger who has ever raised these issues. Having discussed this with a few close friends – including some new residents in British Columbia – I was told “I’ve yet to be on any of the ferries and definitely would not ever consider taking [my dog] on one in the Summer – forget about Winter – after seeing what you have had to put up with.” Should an adequate response from BC Ferries not be received, I am very well prepared to extensively highlight these issues through strong local social media connections, as it has already proven to be a buzzed-about topic on blogs and Twitter. Should the issues require further media awareness, I would not hesitate to do so.

I truly appreciate the attention paid to my letter and my concerns and trust that BC Ferries Corporation will do what is best and in a way that will clearly display the integrity and ethical operating standards expected by the general public from BC Ferries.

Yours truly,

Keira-Anne Mellis
Vancouver, BC

Needless to say, the conditions were so disgusting that I would not let Jordy set-foot on the floor of the pet area. I could not identify a source for the bucket of water, so he wasn’t allowed to drink from that either.

Please provide your thoughts and comments. While everyone will have a different opinion, please be respectful of your fellow readers. Any inappropriate or rude comments will be immediately deleted and IP addresses recorded and flagged.

My alarm started to lull me out of sleep at 5:45 this morning. I proceeded to hit the snooze button for 25 minutes before actually getting up, but even in my dozed state, I was keenly aware of one thing. I’d slept quite solidly, but had a horrible sleep. The tightness and pain in my jaw told me that my teeth had been clenched like steel for most of the night, which will lead to an inevitable headache at some point today.

Mondays have a bad reputation for a reason. I’m sitting here in a silent office and wish to do nothing more than go home and go back to bed to try and have a relaxing sleep. Sometimes there are days where you just have to wave the white flag right from the start because it can be pretty simple to tell what kind of day you’re going to have. Today is, without a doubt, one of those days. My forehead’s starting to throb.

1. The 2010 Olympic Winter Games

I walk by this clock each and every day of the work week. As the days tick down, the budget bloats. Numerous British Columbians are excited, anticipating and looking forward to the 2010 Olympic Games. Just yesterday, women from my office discussed the thousands of dollars they’re prepared to potentially spend in bidding for tickets – one even mentioned $30,000, no joke. This is in addition to the hundreds of millions of dollars that you are spending to host the Games.

Photo: keepitsurreal on Flickr

While in essence I can understand the pride our Province’s residents feel, it’s a very different reality for those living in the downtown core. Each morning when I walk to work, I step over shivering bodies attemping to get a moment of rest before spending yet another day scouring the streets and alleys. The provincial and municipal governments are no different than Rebecca Bloomwood, spending money they don’t have on things they don’t need. In truth, we should be ashamed of the 2010 Olympics. I’m embarrassed that BC chooses to “invite the world” while refusing to take care of its own first.

2. BC Ferries Is Cutting Us Some Slack

Yesterday, BC Ferries’ President and CEO, David Hahn, announced that the fuel surcharge that’s been gouging our pockets will be phased out within the next three weeks. As of December 5th, the surcharge will be lifted on all minor routes, as well as the route between Horseshoe Bay and Langdale. All other routes will follow suit by December 19th.

3. Vote Now On The Best of 604

My very lovely friend and fellow blogger, Rebecca Bollwitt of Miss604 fame, is celebrating five years of online presence with the Best of 604. Readers are encouraged to go to the Best of 604 website to vote in a number of Vancouver-specific categories (including Best Personal Blog, a category in which yours truly has been nominated).

Photo: miss604 on Flickr

Once the nominations are in and votes are cast during the second week of December, Rebecca will be hosting a private awards reception and recognition at the Cellar nightclub. I’ll keep you updated on the status of the Best of 604 nominations and let you know when you can head on over to vote for me (because you know you want to!)

As is seemingly the norm in Vancouver’s West End, when you need a taxi, one can never be found; when you don’t need a taxi, they’re everywhere.

A few nights ago in an attempt to make my way to Gastown, I flagged down a yellow car, hopped in and gave the driver the address. “Oh you made my night – you are such a coyote!”

“Excuse me?” I replied.

“Oops, my bad. I mean cutie – I always get those mixed up. I’m just so happy to have a coyote in my cab…ah I mean cutie!”

He then asked me where I worked; I told him at a law firm. He asked if I was a lawyer and I responded in the negative. He informed me that I should “give a big tip” then because he is putting his son through law school. He asked if I would get his son a job as an articled student at my firm.

All highly inappropriate comments to make.

Photo: 09traveler on Flickr

As he inched his way down Davie to Burrard, he asked which street I’d like to take to Cordova. I told him it didn’t matter, as long as he took the fastest route. “No, ma’am, you’re the passenger so it’s your choice.”

“I really don’t care. Take Burrard then.” He ticked his finger no, pointed at the clock and informed me that it was 5:57 p.m. so it would be an illegal turn. But he did it anyways.

Traffic wasn’t bad, so for no apparent reason, he decided to resume the 27 km/hr speed he clocked on Davie Street. “Uh, can you go a little faster, please?” He refused, insisting that this was a safe speed. “Sure, but I’m the one paying for the cab ride and I’d like to go the speed limit.”

“Oh, no ma’am I can’t do that. But I will get you to Gastown.”

“Fine, but I only have $13 in my wallet so don’t say I didn’t warn you if the metre runs over.”

“Oh $13? I’ll turn the metre off and you just give me that money now and I’ll get you there.” Turning the metre off is illegal, by the way.

“Absolutely not! It may not take that much money to get there so I’ll pay what the metre says I owe. Keep the metre running please.” I was starting to feel quite angry.

In an attempt to keep the peace and put a lid on the conversation, I flipped open my phone and called my mom. As we chatted away, the cab driver piped up in a loud voice, informing me that he still refused to go any faster. I had to firmly inform him that I was on the phone.

Over the remainder of the journey, I stayed on the phone, pausing only to remind him to pick up the pace a little bit. As the cab arrived at my destination, the driver actually began to lecture me on safe driving rules. I managed to zone out as I gathered my belongings from the seat and politely informed him that someone driving well below the speed limit is nearly just as hazardous as one who drives over it.

Does anybody else have any horrific taxi stories to share with the class?

See this handbag…the one I’m toting here?

When I first bought it from Joe Fresh (yah, at Superstore) a few months ago, I fell in love with it. And because it was so cheap (it was $4.95 – I literally paid for it with pocket change), I bought two more to keep on deck. But the straps on that bag have been pissing me off for so long now because they have no hope in hell of staying on my shoulder. They’re always slipping, slipping, slipping down every ten seconds and I’m ready to rip the handles off and dance all over them, Danny Tanner style.

This has been a thoroughly discouraging experience. I’m done with Joe Fresh.