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Last week, Blender magazine released their list of the 50 “worst, wretched and craptastic” songs ever written. Each song was reviewed and stamped with an official “worst moment.” As anyone would and should be, I was curious to see which songs I consider to be personal favourites made the not-so-hit list. Curious too? Check out the list here.

While I’ll freely admit that the majority of songs on the list are stinkers in their own right, how John Mayer’s “Your Body Is A Wonderland” made the list while the “Macarena” didn’t is completely beyond me. In fact, no songs by Creed or Nickelback even made the list. I know – I can hardly believe it myself.

And while the idea of listening to “My Heart Will Go On” (and on and on and on and on) by Celine Dion 50 times in a row is nausea-inducing, it’s not more so than the idea of listening to “Kiss From A Rose” by Seal just as many times. I can undoubtedly say that is my personal “worst, wretched and craptastic” song of all time.

Have a look at the list, and then share with the class what your all-time “worst, wretched and craptastic” song of all time is.

Photo of John Mayer courtesy of Fresh 102.7

Before you call me crazy, let me point out that a handful of West End balconies are already adorned with colouful lights, and my neighbour directly across the street keeps a Christmas tree up and decorated 365 days a year.

Michael Bublé‘s holiday record, “Let It Snow,” was released in stores today, and my combined love for both Bublé and Christmas equated to a necessary purchase. My dinner is in the oven and while preparing said dinner, I broke my cardinal Christmas music rule by listening to the EP. Normally I don’t allow myself to break out holiday tunes until Starbucks has done the same in their stores, but I couldn’t very well let the cellophane go unwrapped for another three weeks. I will say that the 6 songs contained on the disc (which is available for only $6.99 plus tax at HMV) is a blissful 20 minutes and well worth breaking rules for.

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“Let It Snow” has rather appropriately been released today to coincide with the fact that the first traces of snow were seen falling on Mt. Washington this afternoon! As a lover of the outdoors and snowboarding, I can’t tell you how much this excites me! It’s hard to believe that the days of longjohns, lunchtime beer in the lodge, cool and crisp afternoons in the sunshine and the swooshing sound of my board slicing through powder are almost here.

Webcam photo courtesy of Mount Washington Alpine Resort
Need to keep an eye on things for yourself? Head over to Mt. Washington’s website to view the 24/7 webcam. As well, a variety of day passes, season passes and specific passes are available through the website and at various locations across Vancouver Island. The ever-popular 6IXPAK is yours for the taking starting November 1st, so click here for more details. I’ll see you on the hill.

…I wanna dance with my baby.”

Like most people, music has always and will always be an integral part of my life and my development. Quite obviously, my love for a good record started very early with LPs on the family turntable. I can’t even begin to tell you how completely rad I felt wearing those headphones. For some reason, it made me feel important and alive – as though I was doing something worthwhile simply by listening.

Good records have carried me through some of the highest and lowest points of my life. For every single memory I can recall, I can most definitely give you the name of a song that’s connected. However, there are some significant times in my life that can be recalled through entire records.

These are those records…

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1. Bruce Springsteen – Born in the U.S.A. (1984)

Somewhere in my mom’s record collection is a copy of Springsteen’s 1984 release, complete with an “autographed cover.” There isn’t much I remember pre-kindergarten other than being enamoured with the fact that I had Bruce Springsteen’s autograph (which looked suspiciously like my mother’s handwriting). I was also convinced that I’d marry Ponch from CHiPs and I remember that my second or third birthday cake was in the shape of Strawberry Shortcake. Born in the U.S.A. was the very first record that I ever owned, and even still today, hearing the title track induces little giggles.

Photo courtesy of CBS Records

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2. U2 – The Joshua Tree (1987)

“Moooooooooooooom! That band you like is on TV!” I yelled from the guest bedroom in Port Hardy. “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For” was playing on the very early days of MuchMusic (when it was still good) and I recognized it as a song we’d been listening to on the drive up-Island. My true appreciation for U2 wouldn’t develop until years later, and despite the significance of The Joshua Tree in my early years, I still hold to the belief that The Unforgettable Fire is U2′s greatest record.

Photo courtesy of Island Records

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3. New Kids on the Block - Hangin’ Tough (1988)

The first time I ever purchased a copy of Bop, Big Bopper, Teen Beat or any other “teen dream” magazine was solely due to the “fab five” from Boston. I can’t remember the first time I ever heard the title track or where I heard it. What I do know is that in no time flat, I had an NKOTB pillow, every tape they came out with and, after a short stint of crushin’ on Donnie Whalberg, a nice big poster of cheek-pinchin’-cute Joey MacIntyre tacked directly above my bed. Eventually my dreams of being a New Wife on the Block subsided around the same time that the pandemonium caused by these guys died off.

Photo courtesy of Columbia Records

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4. Nirvana - Nevermind (1991)

I’m not sure if I was into Nirvana because, at the time, it was the cool thing to be into Nirvana or whether it was due to the fact that my junior high and high school years were, for the most part, depressive. I felt awkward, out of place and unpopular, so it only makes sense that Nevermind‘s biggest hit, “Smells Like Teen Spirit,” was my anthem of sorts. Looking back, it’s much easier to now see how truly gifted Nirvana was in many ways and how tragic Kurt Cobain’s story was. His untimely demise was the first sense of death I’d ever experienced, and all I can remember is crying in my mom’s arms at how sad and how unfair it was. This is one record that will undoubtedly live on in the annals of music history.

Photo courtesy of DGC/Geffen Records

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5. Pink Floyd – Dark Side of the Moon (1973)

This record was gifted to me around the time of my 12th birthday by my “uncle” Steve. I remember because he’d just returned from Japan and had wrapped it in beautiful black and blue paper he’d bought while overseas. My sneaking suspicion at the time was that my father had rather conveniently suggested this idea to my uncle, but I am forever grateful that my ears were opened to Pink Floyd at such a young age. I have great fond memories of listening to this record with my father…just sitting in the living room and listening. Not long after, I experienced Pink Floyd at the Vancouver Planetarium through the laser medium, and it’s a wonder I will always cherish.

Photo courtesy of Harvest/Capitol Records

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6. U2 – Achtung Baby (1991)

Soon after my Pink Floyd planetarium experience, my dad took us to see The Joshua Tree there also. “I remember this record!” was my first thought. At the time I was so excited to discover music I used to love again that I went in search for more of U2′s stuff. Low and behold, I found Achtung Baby. The infatuation began. For some reason, I’ve normally always seemed to crush on older guys, and Bono was no exception. I snapped up every U2 record released to date at the time and still looked for more in store even though I knew I had all the cassette tapes. In November of 1992, my dad surprised me for my birthday with two floor seat tickets to their Zoo TV tour at BC Place Stadium. If I think about that day, I can still feel the butterflies, still remember the thrill of seeing Bono’s black silhouette rising from the stage and still remember how surreal it all felt while falling asleep reading my program that night.

Photo courtesy of Island Records

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7. Smashing Pumpkins – Siamese Dream (1993)

First came tapes, then came CDs. Siamese Dream was my first CD. “Today” was playing in heavy rotation on MuchMusic (again, when it was still good) and the melodious guitar hooked me in right away. I saved up some of my money and purchased it from the Zellers entertainment department on a dark and stormy night, quite literally. My mom, brother and I arrived home before his karate class and I forced them to sit through a listen with me. Whether we made it to the end or not I don’t know, but this is one record that helped me maintain that delightful sense of angst first created by Nevermind (see number 4).

Photo courtesy of Virgin Records

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8. Duran Duran – Duran Duran (unofficially known as The Wedding Album) (1993)

Somewhere between my infatuation with Bono and the beginning of high school, I discovered Duran Duran. It was around this time that they’d made somewhat of a comeback with “Come Undone.” I’d heard of them before because my older cousin, Lisa, had a huge crush on Simon LeBon in the 80s. I’d decided now it was my turn. Upon further listening, and though I still listen to them quite a bit today, I’ve concluded that it’s Duran Duran’s older stuff (particularly their self-titled debut record) that’s mint. I might also point out that, back in eighth grade, I was convinced that not only could Simon and I one day marry since when I’d be 20, he’d only be 42 (which wasn’t that big of a difference in my juvenile mind). I was further convinced that I was going to lose my virginity on my wedding night by candlelight with “Come Undone” playing in the background. How wrong was I on both those counts?

Photo courtesy of Capitol/EMI Records

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9. Beastie Boys – Check Your Head (1992)

My only saving grace from complete junior high-aged musical geekdom was Check Your Head. A friend of mine brought it along on a three-day kayak field trip and it was all over from there. To this day, their innovation and creativity still blows me away, as do their passion and solid effort put behind everything they do. My mom has long resented my love for the Beasties because, to be honest, she really doesn’t like them. Her face twists up in disgust whenever I play their stuff. However, even she can be quick to admit that they’re true pioneers in what they do. There was no one like them before they hit the scene, and though many have tried to do what they do since, I highly doubt you can name one artist that would cause me to say “hey, yah they kinda sound like the Beastie Boys.” No one does.

Photo courtesy of Capital/Grand Royal Records

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10. Oasis – (What’s the Story) Morning Glory? (1995)

It’s apparent to me that there was some sort of a void in my early high school years. I think I mostly listened to Top 40 (in the words of Mr. Lodge, “egads!”) with some of the MuchMusic Countdown sprinkled in. And then “Wonderwall” hit the airwaves. Everyone loved “Wonderwall.” Everyone remembers “Wonderwall.” But the best part of it was that the entire record from which it came was brilliant! And the record before that, Definitely Maybe, was brilliant too. This record defines high school for me; the joy and the sorrow. I remember listening to “Champagne Supernova” at the time I was told my Opa had passed away. It’s amazing what I physically feel when I hear this record again. Sometimes I wish I could go back and walk home from high school in the sunshine with this on my Walkman just one more time.

Photo courtesy of Epic Records

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11. Hanson – Middle of Nowhere (1997)

I already know what you’re thinking, but I’ve justified Hanson enough times on my blog that I’m not doing it again. The lead single that caught North America’s attention, “MmmBop,” is a lot more than you might think in every way. Go look it up if you need convincing. This record inspired me, made me feel like it was okay at the end of horrendous days and never failed to put a smile on my face. It reminded me of good friends, lost loved ones and times that were yet to come. Though oddly enough, at the time, I was pretty sure they’d be “one hit wonders…”

Photo courtesy of Mercury/Universal Records

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12. Rilo Kiley – The Execution of All Things (2002)

You’ll notice the jump between the last record and this one. Much of my early 20s were an oppressive blur, one that I’d rather not define (though that’s not to say that I don’t still appreciate a listen of something from Jars of Clay once in a while). Rilo Kiley’s sophomore effort epitomizes my personal redemption and transition into living a life that feels more myself and less of someone else’s. Jenny Lewis is, simply put, a kick-ass chick. She’s vulnerable and insecure and at the same time, independent and self-assured. I found that really, really encouraging, and all of what she seemingly embodies is undoubtedly conveyed by Rilo Kiley’s music. This is one to go down in my history books. It gave me the kick-in-the-pants I needed to stand up for me.

Photo courtesy of Saddle Creek Records

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13. Led Zeppelin – II (1969)

“What? You’re saving this one until almost the end?” is what I’m sure you’re asking me. Sure I’ve always been a Led fan – for as long as I can remember. Last year I spent a very special day with a very special person in a very special place. “Whole Lotta Love” will forever remind me of that day, and anytime I want to revisit it, I spin II in my stereo. Enough said.

Photo courtesy of Atlantic Records

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14. Hanson – The Walk (2007)

This album is 2007 for me. Truth be told, it’s been a year for the toilet drain in personal terms. As I said above, Hanson’s music has always given inspiration, so I was elated to find out at the end of July that they’d released something new. I didn’t hesitate in purchasing The Walk and knew that it’d be something amazing. This record, for me, has managed to pick up the shattered pieces of this year and let me feel my heart beat once again. I mean that in the most literal of ways…some chords, some lyrics – they strike something within in a very real and physical way. I think those three brothers have been blessed with a talent that perhaps they can’t even understand. Either way, this record has been a gift to me.

Photo courtesy of 3CG/Cooking Vinyl Records

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So there you have it, kids. I could write forever and ever on this topic. I remember listening to Del Shannon in the car with my aunt on our shopping trips or Fine Young Cannibals and Simply Red with my parents and camping adventures. I remember swooning the first time I heard John Mayer. Those are all glimpses into this life that is my own.

I’d be stoked if you’d comment with one or two of your all-time important records and why.

According to the official website, Rilo Kiley’s newest disc, Under the Blacklight, was slated for an August 28th release date. I’ve been highly anticipating this date for weeks and weeks, so today I just did a check-in with HMV to make sure that the 28th was, in fact, the release date.

Available Now

That’s what was listed beside the record’s image. “It can’t be!” I thought. I checked the official RK website and the fact was verified. To ensure that I wasn’t hallucinating, I stopped in at HMV after work and saw a large handful of beautifully cellophane-wrapped copies of Under the Blacklight. They were $10.99 each, I might add.

It was a Thursday miracle! In the midst of one of the shittiest months I have had in recent memory, a ray of light. I snatched it up and raced it home. About two songs in, all I could say to myself was “Holy shit…this record fuckin’ rocks!” And only moments later, the first single, “Moneymaker,” started thumping out from my speakers. Being that I had just been poolside working on my coconutting, I was still bikini-clad. And with that, my living room instantly became a Strip-O-Rama. Hot damn this is a fun record.

Each song is beautiful in its own right, and I can’t say that this record is like anything RK have released before. Even on the first listen through, I found myself actually singing along to songs I’d never heard before and it felt SO good. I’ve been a fan for years and years, back when they were still signed with Saddle Creek in Nebraska. Jenny Lewis has been rocking my world for even longer, and she’s one extremely rare chicka that I’d be more than happy to have a white cotton panty-wearing pillow fight with.

Anyways, I’m not going to get into specifics about the record because, let’s face it, I’m far too biased. I love it in its entirety. You owe it to yourself to discover Rilo Kiley on your own. Check out “Moneymaker” below.

Photo courtesy of Warner Bros. Records Inc.
Video courtesy of You Tube
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I was never a huge fan of tattoos. I’m not sure why…I guess I was always just too fickle and couldn’t imagine for the life of me what I’d put on my body forever. However, I think I’m now realizing that it’s because a tattoo, in my own opinion, is supposed to hold some meaning and be symbolic to the bearer. It wasn’t until now that I’ve felt experienced in life enough to know which sorts of images would be representative of me. It’s only just now that I’ve begun to realize what really matters to me, and that’s solid enough to be something to carry with me throughout my entire life (such as an image).

So, my question to you, my only friends, is this: what is your personal opinion on tattoos? Tattoos on women in particular? Love ‘em? Hate ‘em?

And to Emily Dyck in particular: You got a tattoo on a bony area of your body. The tattoo I’m considering would also be on an incredibly bony area. I have a very, very high pain tolerance, but I can’t imagine what a tattoo would actually feel like. Input, please!

I actually have a pretty good and solid idea of what I’d like to get, and no, it’s nothing like the illustration above. That’s just something I found that’s pretty gorgeous.

Photo courtesy of High Voltage Tattoo; tattoo by Kim Saigh
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For some reason, I feel like I had something else to write about tonight but I guess I don’t. I was contemplating Part 3 of Crackerjack Timing, but I have some toenails that need painting and a bag that needs packing. Lata’, kids.