Keira-anne.com

Raymi did this and tagged me. And since I’m on holidays, I clearly have nothing better to do. Also, because there’s no Island Profile this week (remember? I’m on holidays), I’ve thrown in a few pictures from this weekend’s Filberg Festival (and other stuff) just for fun.

1. What time did you get up this morning?

8:30 a.m. – it’s the latest Jordy’s let me sleep in on our holidays so far.

2. How do you like your steak?

Alive and not on any plate, thank you.

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?

The Hangover. I may have seen it three times. Can you blame me?

4. What are your favorite TV shows?

OZ, Deadwood, Law & Order: SVU, Sex and the City, Alias

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?

I’m gonna be super cliché and say either New York City or some small town in Southern California. I like the sound of Toluca Lake.

6. What did you have for breakfast?

I haven’t eaten breakfast yet today. I’m getting through my second cup of coffee with International Delight fat-free hazelnut cream. Sacrilege, I know.

7. What is your favorite cuisine?

Mexican

8. What foods do you dislike?

Meat, Thai, meat, Vietnamese, meat.

9. Favorite Place to Eat?

I probably couldn’t be less inventive but I’m in love with Milestones right now because of their California summer salad and crushed raspberry mojitos. But I also really love Boneta, Atlas Cafe and Avenue.

10. Favorite dressing?

Usually just some olive oil and balsamic vinegar. Simple, so good.

11.What kind of vehicle do you drive?

I don’t.

12. What are your favorite clothes?

My wool DvF dress, jeans and a cardigan and my super short cut-offs.

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance?

If you read my blog, you know.

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full?

1/2 full.

15. Where would you want to retire?

Comox Valley

16. Favorite time of day?

Wine time, bath time, park time with Jordy, Gossip Hour with Auntie Raymi and pretty much any time I get to eat.

17. Where were you born?

Here.

18. What is your favorite sport to watch?

I hate watching sports.

19. Who do you think will not tag you back?

21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this?

22. Bird watcher?

Uh, nah.

23. Are you a morning person or a night person?

Both.

24. Do you have any pets?

I’m kind of obsessed with my pet.

25. Any new and exciting news you’d like to share?

I’m not fond of sharing.

26. What did you want to be when you were little?

A figure skater or a cheerleader. I had a lot of ambition, I know.

27. What is your best childhood memory?

Going on wilderness walks with my Opa in the forest behind his house. We’d try to spot deer or bunnies or birds and then we’d sit in an “eagle’s nest” and he’d tell me stories. He was so rad.

28. Are you a cat or dog person?

Dog, dog, dog, dog, dog!

29. Are you married?

Barf.

30. Always wear your seat belt?

Oui.

31. Been in a car accident?

Nope.

32. Any pet peeves?

People who drive while talking on their cell phones, people who can’t spell or use bad grammar, people who pop their collars, people who talk through movies, people who are chronic liars, people who overdramatize everything, people who need constant reassurance, people who disrespect animals. Also, the motorcycles that rev up my street, hearing a little bit of bass through the wall from my neighbour (I tattle on him all the time), LOL and that tongue emoticon, Olympic brouhaha and when I paint my fingernails and chip a tip the next morning.

33. Favorite Pizza Toppings?

Mushrooms, lots of cheese, onion.

34. Favorite Flower?

White tulips.

35. Favorite ice cream?

Are you seriously asking me this? Obviously banana fudge, chocolate chip mint and Moose Tracks from Island Farms.

36. Favorite fast food restaurant?

Taco Time. Okay and I did eat a vegetarian sandwich from KFC the other day and it was soooo freaking good.

37. How many times did you fail your driver’s test?

I failed my Class 5 the first time but when I got my short bus license, I passed with flying colours the first time.

38. From whom did you get your last email?

Andrea.

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?

Neiman Marcus, Book Warehouse, Target. Except, for the record, I’d never choose to max out my credit card.

40. Do anything spontaneous lately?

I’m so routine and I love it.

41. Like your job?

Actually, yes, I do.

42. Broccoli?

Sometimes.

43. What was your favorite vacation?

I wish I’ve been on a vacation. Soon, very soon.

44. Last person you went out to dinner with?

With Andrea to Milestones. Surprising? No.

45. What are you listening to right now?

Nothing – it’s super quiet at my mom’s. The baby is sleeping, the dogs are sleeping.

46. What are your favorite colors?

Purple, green, blue, white, black, brown. Also yellow.

47. How many tattoos do you have?

None yet, but I’m cookin’ something up.

48. How many are you tagging for this quiz?

49. What time did you finish this quiz?

10:01 a.m.

50. Coffee Drinker?

See question six, please.

Photo: Matteo.Mazzoni on Flickr

I’m going to Tofino first-thing tomorrow morning, so this place is going to get a little bit cobwebby.

Once upon a time, the White Spot restaurant in Courtenay wasn’t a White Spot restaurant. When your humble narrator was but a girl of 12, that location was home to Bonanza Family Restaurant. In the summer before ninth grade, I’ll give you one guess as to who worked as a waitress there.

I was primarily the “bun girl,” responsible for ensuring that hot buns were constantly available at Bonanza’s extensive salad bar. Sometimes I also helped slop the various salads, pasta salads, beans – and whatever else needed topping up – into the bowls. Towards the end of that summer, I was even allowed to work the cash register a bit. Did I mention that I was only 12?

Photo: persocomholic on Flickr

One afternoon, just days before school was set to start again, I was carrying a large and heavy tray of dirty dishes into the kitchen area. Someone failed to mark the freshly-mopped floor in the middle of the restaurant with a “Slippery When Wet” sign, and in the blink of an eye I was ass-down on the floor. Every plate and every mug and every glass shattered around me. I was mortified and quit on the spot.

Despite my short tenure at Bonanza Family Restaurant, I managed to save up my earnings that summer for a Sony Discman and a copy of Stone Temple Pilots’ Purple on CD. Though, I wouldn’t work again until the summer after twelfth grade as a “fashion-forward” associate at Northern Reflections in the Driftwood Mall. I shudder at the memory.

What was your first job? And please, feel free to share any particularly mortifying moments in your career history.

I’ve been feeling like there’s a bit of a rain cloud over my head the last few days. While I could be a deceptive blogger and writing about ponies and rainbows in an attempt to make you all think I feel peachy, let’s be candid with each other, no?

In the spirit of all things Eeyore, I present to you an incomplete list of things that drive this girl nuts (and then some)…

• being cut off by cars in a crosswalk
• my bangs (actually, all my hair right now, generally speaking)
• stepping onto an elevator to discover it’s suffocating with cologne or perfume
• stepping off of an elevator to discover a horde of people fighting like vultures to get on before I get off
• text messaging
• people that say they’ll call and then don’t
• when people type or spell a lot as alot
• tourists that lollygag on the sidewalk when I’m trying to get to work
• checking my voicemail
• people that don’t keep their dogs on leashes when walking down the street
• LOL-ing… who really sits at their computer laughing out loud? (as well, excessive and unnecessary emoticon use)
• student loans
• people that don’t know the difference between their, there, and they’re (this annoyance also applies to differences between your and you’re, as well as too, to and two)
• when radio stations play edited versions of songs… isn’t that compromising artistic integrity?
• being told I’m needed for something at the last minute – sudden and unexpected change invokes temper tantrums
• PC computers

Feel free to add to the list.

That’s what Tania asked after all was said and done.

Blame it on my insatiable desire for season three of Oz. I burned through the remaining episodes of season two last night and asked Tania if she wanted to quickly hit up Future Shop. After a stop there and at IGA for a few groceries, we made our way home.

I have a habit of yanking my keys out of my purse a block or two from home, though always careful to hook the ring around a finger or two. I guard my keys with my life – they’re my only set and a key fob replacement is $100.

Rounding the corner at Richards and Seymour, what I never guessed would happen happened.

Photo: Ctd 2005 on Flickr

It was as slow as slow motion can be. I felt the key ring gently slip off my right index finger and watched as gravity sucked my keys towards the ground and in between the cold steel bars of a storm drain.

“Oh my god – what do I do? What do I do?” was all I could exclaim. It’s fuzzy now but I’m sure some expletives leaked out too. My first instinct was to hunker down, grab the bars and pull. No go – welded shut. The keys were only swimming in a few inches of water about two feet below street level but there was no way to get into the grate.

A few people that passed by suggested flagging a cop or calling the City of Vancouver. Tania tried to reassure me that we could easily have building security give me a new fob, but there was no way I was leaving the access to my whole life on the side of the street.

I thought “no way!” to myself and squatted down again, grabbed the bars and pulled. With some sort of superhuman strength, the grate budged and I gleefully yelled at Tania to help me. We lifted it off, put the grate to the side and I didn’t waste a second laying my body down on the curb to reach down. My fingers searched the murky water, grabbed the keys and hopped up. Thankfully, a young man nearby offered to replace the grate lid for us.

And so, only minutes after I nearly melt right down, we were on our way home once again. Extending them an arms-length in front of me, I asked Tania if she wanted to smell the keys. She didn’t.

I’m so tired of reading, writing and chatting about being empowered, mental health, awareness and emotional well-being. I think if I see the words “self care” together one more time, my head might explode. I’ll blog about my therapy sessions, sure, but I’m so tired of dwelling on that bullshit instead of having narcissistic fun.

I’ve been packing up my apartment and loving every minute of doing so. The only problem with that, however, is that the mess it’s making totally grosses me out.

Two weeks ago I went tanning and asked the girl to set the bed for 12 minutes – she misunderstood me and punched in 20, so my girls were blushing for days afterwards. The girl at the tanning salon felt so bad that, next time I showed, up, she had purple tulips for me.

How’d she know my favourite colour du jour was purple?

I love flowers on the inside best.

My nightstand is missing. I went all Martha on it after my mom’s incessant complaints about how nasty and waterstained it was looking. It used to belong to my Opa, so I decided to show it some TLC instead of getting rid of it.

I spent time sanding, painting and varnishing it this afternoon, much to the annoyance of the queens in the suite below mine. About half an hour after they complained to me that I was bothering other tenants, they were out on their balcony coughing through their cloud of pot smoke. I think that’s the pot calling the kettle green, no? Stay classy, 1109.

Why didn’t I do this sooner? It’s looking pretty tasty.

There are only two things I’ll miss about this apartment: the view and the sound of the seagulls flying around my balcony.

Once these are in my new place, they’ll be hidden by some fancy new furniture and storage units.

Get a good look now because once I’m in my new apartment, you won’t even recognize it as my home. I’m having a vegan couch delivered on move-in day, picking up a bunch of new furniture to replace my college dorm jokes and keeping my fingers crossed – tightly – that the world’s best auntie really will replace my archaic TV like she’s been hinting at.

Another thing I’m chucking is my old suitcase with the busted-ass handle. I have to fly to Dawson Creek for a week in April and busted-ass handles just won’t do.

It’s nice having friends – aka Jenny – that work for Roxy, Quiksilver (note there is no c in Quiksilver) and DC.

I can assure you that I did not pay that… or anything close to that.

The first doggy item is clean and ready to go – but the question still remains…

…who’s it gonna be? I’m leaning towards a cute, cuddly, fluffy, loving, affectionate pomeranian more than anything right now.

The mess practically makes me ill.

But I bought a new shower curtain that I love-love-love and it’s made of fabric so I’ll no longer get pissed off that it’s sticking to my leg every single time I have a shower.

That’s the problem with concrete walls – everything needs to be hung with double-sided tape, so I’m going to have so much fun cleaning off the stickiness. I pray to Yahweh that my new apartment has gyproc.

Free to a good home.

Seriously… none of it will match my new place.

I have no clue where this hat came from, but I can assure you it cannot possibly belong to any of my exes for reasons other than just the fact that it’s hideous.

Ready for some more fun? It’s Sunday, it’s sunny and I’m stretched out on my big, comfy bed, so what else could a girl ask for on a day like today? Plenty. Lust with me, why don’t you?

You know, in case you’ve forgotten what a real man looks like.

Prisoner number 98K514. Convicted June 16, 1998 – Felony murder, two counts of attempted murder, assault with a deadly weapon (in his pants), driving under the influence, reckless endangerment and being irresponsibly sexiful.

I ripped all those photos off Google and was far too lazy to link them.

(Hey, at least I’m honest.)

Greetings from Sweetwater Creek

Located in an undisclosed and secluded setting on central Vancouver Island, Sweetwater Creek is the Island’s premiere collective living community.

Photo: forestgladesiwander on Flickr

Surrounded by picturesque mountains and nestled on the shores of a bustling stream, Sweetwater Creek is a shared place where those who dwell have come together to seek a quiet and peaceful lifestyle by residing in a place that is safe and free from an existence polluted by delusions (and delusional people).

Don’t let our 10-foot walls intimidate or fool you – once you pass through the gates of our community, our home becomes your home. Instantly you will find yourself in the middle of nearly 30 beautiful, unique and independent estates on our 40-acre property, proudly built in an unending ring. Within the circle is Sweetwater Creek’s shared organic garden where all residents contribute to the planting, maintenance, growth and harvesting of fresh corn, beets, peas, carrots, succulent apples, juicy peaches, brightly-coloured flowers and soothing lavender plants.

Photo: Artcatcher on Flickr

While the shared garden is a special feature of Sweetwater Creek, the true botanical pièce de résistance is the expansive vineyard featuring pinot noir grapes buried deep into rich and fertile soil. All residents share time harvesting the grapes and preparing copious wine to keep all of Sweetwater Creek’s residents glass deep in vino. Wine-making, baked goods and lumber production are the three key revenue sources for Sweetwater Creek, and all residents are expected to participate in at least two of these chores.

The property also features a number of exciting and interesting amenities, including a meeting/banquet hall, full-service recreation facitilty, craft hut (with fantastic space to paint, knit, draw, sculpt and design), playground, spacious dog kennels and 3 penned-in acres for your pooches to run and play, industrial kitchen and BBQ pit, heated outdoor swimming pool, and spa and hot tub facility.

Oh, but there’s a catch. There’s always a catch. Residents of Sweetwater Creek are carefully selected only after a rigourous screening process. In fact, chances are that unless you are part of my family or an otherwise close and personal friend of myself or the family, Sweetwater Creek will be off limits for you. There are no TVs, no internet on the computers, telephones are for important use only and guest passes will be restricted and at the discretion of the residents as a collective.

Sweetwater Creek is much like Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory: “Nobody ever goes in… and nobody every comes out.” Emphasis on nobody ever going in.

See this handbag…the one I’m toting here?

When I first bought it from Joe Fresh (yah, at Superstore) a few months ago, I fell in love with it. And because it was so cheap (it was $4.95 – I literally paid for it with pocket change), I bought two more to keep on deck. But the straps on that bag have been pissing me off for so long now because they have no hope in hell of staying on my shoulder. They’re always slipping, slipping, slipping down every ten seconds and I’m ready to rip the handles off and dance all over them, Danny Tanner style.

This has been a thoroughly discouraging experience. I’m done with Joe Fresh.

Photo: Thomas Hawk on Flickr

I accomplished no less than the following over the last 48 hours:

- polished off six bottles of red wine with three friends
- broke a coat rack
- ventured to Ikea in the dark and pouring rain to replace said coat rack
- got dog poo all over my hand
- saw Mari to have my hair toned (it’s its original colour for the first time in 5 years)
- hung out in a deserted arrival area at YVR at 2am
- saw a cover band play in an industrial Deep Cove warehouse
- downed some scrumptious Indian food with Jenni and Amy
- downed some Diet Pepsi after said scrumptious Indian food
- slipped on a smashed pumpkin and landed on my bum
- got a $30 parking ticket; I’m totally disputing that b.s.
- ate far too much Halloween candy with Becky
- admired the Christmas decorations at the Bay and at Ikea
- played “Truth or Dare” for the first time in a decade

It’s Monday and for whatever reason, I’m feeling a little meh. Don’t say it’s the rain because I love the rain. Perhaps it’s just the Mondays Mehs. Either way, I’m probably the last person to see this, but it’s entirely funny. Andy Samberg’s impersonation is nearly flawless.

After the episode aired, Mark Wahlberg was said to be upset with Samberg. His appearance on SNL this past Saturday seems to dispell that rumour.

Photo: Christopher-Meloni.com

On a gratuitious side note, I’m crushin’ once again. While Javier Bardem will always be number one in my loins, he needs to move over and make a bit of room. When I first started watching Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, many people asked me if I was crushing on Chris Meloni. “Absolutely not” was my standard response. I was too hung up on viewing him only as the bisexual, homicidial rapist on HBO’s Oz to find him sexy.

That notion has gone out the window. I got over it.