Keira-anne.com

If you were to ask me what I love most about blogging, it is the opportunity it provides to share information, invoke thought and open up lines of communication between people that otherwise might never interact with each other. I’m entirely grateful that I have a slice of the internet to call my own. Blogging can be a catalyst for discussion and forward-thinking ideas but it can also slide very quickly in the other direction.

A little more than a week ago, I published a post entitled “Numbers“, designed as a simple fact-blast. Several days later, I received the following comment on that post:

“What about all the children in the world that are homeless or mistreated? It’s seems very trendy these days to focus so much attention on the well-being and wardrobes of pets, dogs in particular. Sure, dogs are great, but why do people personify them to be more than they are, which is in fact animals. Seems rather self-indulgent, if you ask me.“

My instant reaction was to hit the delete button. The label of “self-indulgent” quickly stung like a bee and, on the whole, I felt discouraged. In truth, the comment caused me to question why I am even trying to raise funds for the BC-SPCA. I considered that perhaps my personal effort is a waste.

Something about the comment lingered with me for days after as it sat in my WordPress trash can. The author of that comment had a valid point: what about the children of the world? Yes, what about them? Do I feel that the welfare of animals is of greater importance than that of the children of the world? Absolutely not. So does that mean that the welfare of animals is unimportant? Again, absolutely not.

You and I are unalike. We are different people with different backgrounds, different passions, different families and different goals. We each have our personal and public beliefs and because we are each individual, we aren’t required to justify ourselves to the world around us. The dissimilar passions of people, in general, is what makes society work. Whether we advocate for the safety and well-being of children, aggressively push to end homelessness in our communities, raise funds for cancer research, promote green and sustainable living for the planet or speak for animals that have no voices, each of us is a crucial link in the chain of philanthropy. And though we may feel less fervor about one cause and more passionate about another, none of us has the right to judge that any one is unimportant.

My attempt to raise funds for the BC-SPCA is not fueled by self-indulgence. It isn’t my hope than animals will become especially personified or that we’ll adorn them in adorable wardrobes. The suffering, abuse and neglect of animals in British Columbia is far more rampant than the majority of people will ever realize. While it is certainly not at the top of the charity food chain, nor should it supersede the dire needs of humans, it is still a need nonetheless. Were it not for the BC-SPCA, and SPCA branches around North America, I fear to think what our society would look like.

Dogs don’t need chic jackets, cats don’t require shiny bells jingling around their necks and farm animals can do without luxe barns. However, they do require – and deserve – to live free from harm and violence, in care and in love. The BC-SPCA is not funded by the government that you voted for (or against). In fact, little more than 1% of taxpayer dollars cover shelter costs and abuse investigations. That, my friends, is why I am raising funds.

In less than three weeks, I’ll be walking with Jordy and Charley and standing up to declare that I believe our Province’s animals deserve to be treated in fairness and dignity. If your passion is for something other than animals, then I encourage you to donate to that charity and take a stand in what you believe is right. If you believe in the fair and dignified treatment of animals, then please consider donating to the BC-SPCA – even if it’s the change you scrounge from your couch cushions.

While it’s true I hope to see money poured into what I believe in, what I wish to see even more is people taking a stand for what is it they feel passion for and getting active within that passion.

As it enters its final three days, the horse death toll at the Calgary Stampede has reached six – a number that Stampede spokesperson Doug Fraser describes as “very unusual and very upsetting.” [source] However, death is nothing new to the annual event. In fact, since 1986, more than 50 chuckwagon horses alone have died as a result of various levels of participation at the Calgary Stampede. [source] This number does not include other animals involved, such as grown cattle and baby calves used in rope-tying events.

There’s no definitive reason for the deaths of the six horses at this year’s event. Cause has ranged from broken legs, cardiac arrest due to stress and even a horse that was bucking so wildly it broke its own back and was subsequently put down. [source] Not unlike horse racing, these beasts are forced to perform, holding up their 1,000-pound bodies on ankles not much thicker than yours or mine. Ouch.

All of this leads me to ask only one question: What is the magic number?

Which number of dead animals serves as the pivot point for the Calgary Stampede to move from “family entertainment” to “unnecessary cruelty”? Though the event is considered an Alberta tradition – mini donuts included – the notion of tradition does not automatically translate to ethical or humane.

Many fans of the Calgary Stampede will argue that it’s the nature of the beast, so to speak, and that these horses are simply performing in ways that their bodies were designed to perform. While it’s true that horses run, buck and jump in a natural environment, the Calgary Stampede creates an entirely different circumstance.

It’s interesting that this annual event – and ensuing annual debate – is surfacing simultaneously with a similar deliberation in Vancouver. Vancouver Parks Board Commissioner Stuart Mackinnon is putting forth a motion to hold a public referendum and consider whether or not whales should be held in captivity. Using animals for entertainment or “sport” – as in the stampede, horse racing, zoos and aquariums – is a hotly contested debate, one in which opinions are always strongly divided.

Where do you stand on the issue?

When I’m not making the conscious decision to eat healthy food, it takes very little time for the habit to catch up on me. Believe me – few things go down as easy as a PayDay bar, a piping hot Americano or a bowlful of sour cream and onion potato chips. However, within a week or two – and sometimes just days – the effects of my poor eating choices start to stare at me in the face… literally.

The first tell-tale evidence is my skin. It’s not as soft and moisturized as normal, instead feeling oily and appearing entirely lacklustre. Going make up-free is most definitely no longer an option.

Second to the skin is fatigue. The psychological cause-and-effect of eating well translating into feeling well becomes crushed by the crash of sugary treats. And further, my body starts to feel squishy and bloated.

I recently found an article outlining some of the problems with processed foods and the benefits of giving them the boot. I know from experience that, once I’m able to bust through the bad habits that build up, my body rebounds in huge and healthy ways. Hair and skin glow, energy levels rocket through the roof, muscle tone becomes more apparent and I become mindful of what I put in my body.

The hard part is sticking to it for long periods of time – particularly because I’m always on the go. Meals for one can quickly become lazy and uninspired and I am normally clueless as to what to do with any and all leftover ingredients. British Columbia is abundant with tons of fresh, local food and finding healthy (and often organic) eating choices is a cinch. Between sustainable farmers’ markets and health-conscious grocery stores, this really shouldn’t be a difficult endeavour for me, but it is.

Your turn: What are some of your favourite on-the-go recipes that are both healthy and delicious? What helps you stay focused on healthy eating habits – or getting back on track?

Despite being a fairly capable gal, I’d never attempt to cut my own hair. Living in the city without a car sometimes forces me to rely on the professional assistance of a taxi driver. And while I am completely competent in the kitchen and proficient at painting my toenails, sometimes I simply don’t feel like doing either.

When dining out, having my dog groomed or grabbing a cab home on a rainy day, I’m of the view that I’m paying for the service, not so much the product. I’m paying for a service that, for one reason or another, I choose not to do on my own. And if it so happens that said service is above par or entirely phenomenal, I never hesitate to tack on a generous tip.

Photo: dooq on Flickr

On our recent vacation, Rebecca and I almost never tipped below 20%. It seems as though 15-18% is an acceptable standard, while tipping 10% or less can be likened to spelling out “TIP” in pennies. What I found most surprising on our trip was that, in chatting with friends in NYC that work as restaurant servers or bartenders, Canadians are notoriously “cheap” tippers, generally hovering around the 10% mark at best.

I started thinking about the practice of tipping and how much it varies around the globe. It’s never something I take issue with because, most often, service and expectations are in sync with each other. However, adding a gratuity onto any service can be a tricky and sticky process, so how do you determine if and how much you tip?

And further…

• How do you feel about dining cheques with gratuity automatically included?
• Do you tip various services, such as your hair stylist/barber, taxi drivers, barista or your neighbourhood dog groomer?
• What’s your tip style when dining in vs. having food delivered vs. take-out?

To announce that I love dogs would be stating the obvious, so let me begin by saying that my love of dogs doesn’t discriminate. While I’m often wary of people, there isn’t a dog I won’t approach for cuddles and kisses. So when I heard that my friends Rebecca and Josh adopted a three-year-old pit bull from Hug A Bull rescue, I couldn’t wait to meet him. This past weekend I got my chance.

What surprised me most about Jake first was his size. He isn’t the beastly, muscular menace most come to expect with pit bulls. Jake is a 50-pound pure-bred American Staffordshire terrier that was built for play. He instantly took to me and was quick to show off. Rebecca and I took Jake for a walk in the woods where he displayed his expertly perfected stick-fetching skills, all the while being entirely cute. Yes, cute. His mannerisms and facial expressions were almost puppy-like and it was impossible not to fall for Jake’s charms and huge heart.

When the walk was done and Jake had expended all his energy in the woods, he climbed up on the couch beside me, flopped onto my lap and rested his head on my knee. The boy loves to cuddle when not showering his “mommy” with appreciative kisses.

The stigmas attached to this breed of dog have become unavoidable, but I can’t help but wonder if such stigmas would exist if not for the media. Fear sells headlines, so it’s not unusual for news outlets to resort to fear mongering. No doubt a pit bull’s bite would be stronger than that of, say, a golden retriever. However, if a golden retriever barked at and nipped someone at the local park, it’s highly unlikely that the story would make the 6 o’clock news.

My personal experiences with pit bulls have only ever been positive ones. One of my closest friends is a Special Constable with the BC-SPCA and, over her career, has only ever encountered a single aggressive pit bull. Breaking through stigmas surrounding animals is, in my opinion, equally important as breaking through the stigmas we have regarding people. That said, what have been your experiences with this breed? Do you love them? Fear them? Why or why not?

I can say with 100% certainty that there is nothing at which I am an expert. There are, however, a few things of which I am incredibly passionate about. Orca whales are one of those things. While there are topics worth biting my tongue over, this is one passion I freely share my firm opinion on.

Photo: TylerIngram on Flickr

The story of the whale trainer at SeaWorld in Orlando, Florida that was killed by a captured orca whale – more commonly known as the “killer whale” – has reached all corners of the globe since Wednesday afternoon’s tragedy. An event such as this one naturally triggers a landslide of questions. Perhaps the most commonly asked question is simply: how could this happen?

Dawn Brancheau was an experienced trainer, having worked with these magnificent mammals for 16 years. The whale at the centre of this story is a 12,000 pound male named Tillicum, a creature that Dawn was incredibly familiar with and one whom she had created a working relationship with through training. So what provoked Tillicum to drag Dawn under the water and into an untimely and heart-rending death?

The question of how this could have happened seems, to me, to have a rather simple reasoning. Orca whales, like any animal on this planet, is at its core a wild animal. No amount of domestication can ensure a human’s ultimate safety around animals – whether we’re dealing with whales and dolphins or cats and dogs. As an expert in her field, I have no doubt that Dawn was fully aware of the daily risks she took in working with Tillicum. While what happened is wholly unfortunate, at the end of the day it can’t be unexpected either.

Photo: TylerIngram on Flickr

Many news reports that have come out in the wake of this event have suggested that it’s likely Tillicum simply thought of Dawn as a “toy” and was merely playing with her. Though defined as predatory, orca whales (which are actually a species of dolphin, not whale) aren’t generally thought to be a threat to humans and are, more often than not, peaceful creatures. That said, it can be contended that Tillicum was simply doing what comes naturally to him. If, on the other hand, what happened was rooted in aggression, we could consider his environment a chief contributing factor.

Oceanic mammals were created with the sea as their home and playground. To pluck them from the deep blue and confine them to the equivalent of a bathtub will surely have an effect. Imagine, if you will, being contained in a single room, left to circle endlessly while people peered in through windows on all four sides. It would be enough to drive you mad, wouldn’t it?

And so the great debate regarding whales in captivity has kicked up again and everyone is sure to have an opinion. Scientists claim that capturing whales is the best way by which to study them and learn of their nature and habits in order to assist in conservation programs. It would seem to me that the most effective environment to study whale behavior regarding conservation is in the wild. But then again, what do I know? I’m not an orca expert, just an orca lover.

Contribute your two cents: Do you think keeping whales in captivity is an acceptable practice? Should they be released into the wild?

When Vancouver and Whistler were first awarded the 2010 Olympic Winter Games seven years ago, I was less than enthused. I’ve never been a fan of the Olympics generally and wasn’t pumped for them to be held in British Columbia specifically. My sentiments spent the next near-decade snowballing, tangling up in an avalanche of over-spending, criticizing reports, suffering social programs and homelessness to name a few. While you can talk to me until you’re blue in the face, I will never, ever agree that athletic facilities trump any of the problems within our Province that are rapidly deteriorating. That said, I also can’t deny the fact that the Games are very much here.

This is where I admit to waving the white flag, eat my words and declare my own hypocrisy. Despite it all, I am very, very excited for the celebrations at hand.

I suppose it began last Thursday. I made my way to 49th Avenue in an attempt to catch Steve Nash carry the torch and felt entirely unpatriotic. In a sea of red and white, I stood out like a sore thumb in my purple basketball jersey. I intended to get Nash’s attention and, seemingly, it worked. Without red and white, I felt entirely alienated so made the decision that I’d actually sport Canada’s colours the next day as the torch made its way past my office downtown.

The excitement on Georgia Street Friday morning was incredible with a sea of proud Canadians stretched, quite literally, as far as my eyes could see. And as we cheered, applauded and shouted, everyone was speculating who’d ultimately light the cauldron that night at BC Place Stadium. I had to admit that even I, the Olympic Cynic, was curious. [Cue that white flag I was telling you about.]

Curled up on my couch that evening, I sat mesmerized as so many of the beautiful elements of our country’s culture unfolded before millions of eyes around the globe. British Columbia is only a fraction of the rich tapestry that is Canada, made up of people, images, songs, history and events that have shaped and transformed the home in which you and I live today. Perhaps the hydraulic issue served as an unintended measure of proof that, despite how breathtaking Canada is, it is not perfect. We’d be fools to deny such flaws exist but can instead unite in the pride that threads through us all and hope that one day we’ll see a country in which the final pieces click into place.

I’ve been called many names in the past: Homebody, Little Miss Anti-Social and even Not A Joiner. While those labels can certainly ring true at the best of times, now is not one of them. The movement and spirit of Canadian pride has spread across this city like wildfire. Think of Vancouver as being likened to Zombieland – minus the fleshy tenancies but instead with a healthy dose of infectious patriotism.

The ’round-the-clock music, cheers, screams and partying no longer cause me to roll my eyes but instead stifle giggles. If anything, this event has served as a personal reminder of how truly magical British Columbia is. It’s easy to take the mountains and ocean and blue sky and fresh air for granted each day when it’s on my doorstep. To be given the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to see those elements of our nation through the eyes of countless international visitors is a gift. While I certainly refuse to turn a blind eye to the critical needs on the streets of my city and in the towns of my province, it would also be a shame were I to miss out on such an amazing opportunity in my own front yard.

The strangest thing about this all is the notion that in a few short weeks, the streets will have emptied out, Robson Square will be once again quiet on my early morning walks to work and we will all be left wondering if it was just a dream…

Honest to a fault and too kind to be cruel, Tony Pierce is a rare gem. As the sole author of the long-running busblog and chief blog editor for the LA Times, never a dull word is uttered from his mouth. That is, of course, if you manage to catch him long enough for a conversation.

Photo: miss604 on Flickr

Throughout our friendship, Tony has interviewed yours truly on two occasions and has even orchestrated an interview between myself and Taylor Hanson (yup, the “Mmmbop…” guy). Never once has he sat down to be interrogated by me – until last night.

Keira-Anne: Good evening. Let’s start by getting your name out of the way.

Tony Pierce: My name is Andy Warhol and I’m here to sell you soup. Actually, paintings of soup cans.

KA: Are you selling anything else, Andy Warhol?

TP: Nope, just soup. I also go by a more common name of Tony Pierce

KA: Did your mama name you Anthony?

TP: She did! Anthony Hugh Pierce III.

KA: That’s a rather distinguished name. Why did you drop the a, n, h and y?

TP: There was a tax on consonants where I grew up. So repressive!

KA: That’s rather unfortunate. I hope it didn’t break your mama’s heart. Moving on… Did you have a favourite pair of pajamas when you were a little boy? Maybe some flannels with a bunch of Cs for the Cubs all over them?

TP: Hmmmm that was so very long ago. I’m sure I did, I just cant recall that far back.

KA: Were the Cubs even in existence in the ’50s?

TP: Yes, they were just figuring out how to successfully lose for a living. Their last world series win was in 1908, so by the ’50s they were almost in stride.

KA: That’s appalling. Let’s talk about sports later on. When did you make the move from Chicago to Los Angeles?

TP: I moved here the day after my high school graduation. I was 17.

KA: I like that you’re not getting any more specific than that. You were so young, so fresh and so impressionable. Were you frightened on your first day in LA?

TP: Indeed. I had gone from kindergarten all the way to graduating high school in Illinois. I knew everyone, so moving here not knowing one soul was weird, but I was up for it. I mean, I knew what family I had out here, but no one my own age.

KA: Can you tell me what your first great memory of LA was? You know… that pinnacle moment where you realized you made the right decision.

TP: There’s this free weekly newspaper out here called the LA Weekly and they list all the bands that are gonna play and where all the movies are. Even though I didn’t like to dance, I figured I should go to a dance club to meet girls.

KA: That’s never a bad idea.

TP: So the Weekly said I should try this one club because it was a mix between the bar in Star Wars and the wildest orgies in ancient Rome. LITTLE DID I KNOW that meant it was a gay and lesbian club.

KA: They didn’t specify that in the small print?

TP: NOT AT ALL. So I stood stunned as I saw two super hot girls make out and I was all “I’m in HEAV-“ and this dude tapped me on the shoulder.

KA: Did your stomach drop at that moment?

TP: Looks like probably exactly like how your dad looks and said “wanna dance?”

KA: I guess strapping, young black men from the mid-west were his thing. Did you oblige him?

TP: No, I ran out of the club and sped out of the garage as fast as I could with a huge WELCOME TO LA feeling in my heart.

KA: Have you been back to the Star Wars Orgy since?

TP: When I told my friends about it, they were all, “a gay and lesbian dance club? Hell, we woulda’ burned down such a place in IL“. And interestingly enough this place, The Odyssey, was burned down a few months after I went there.

KA: There’s some culture shock for you… There’s a gay club in Vancouver called the Odyssey as well.

TP: See, maybe that’s a thing that we straights don’t know.

KA: Perhaps it’s a chain. What’s the one thing about LA you wouldn’t trade for anything else?

TP: People talk about the pretty girls, but you’re proof that there are gorgeouser women in Canada.

KA: Is it all talk?

TP: No, there are definitely pretty girls here.

KA: You make me blush and I’m not even the one being interviewed.

TP: Ha! Some say they like bumping into celebrities in LA, but we are now letting Canada steal our movie and TV biz.

KA: It’s true. BC is kind of a Mecca for that stuff now.

TP: So I would say it’s the weather. There’s nothing better than wearing shorts in January.

KA: How about not wearing shorts in January?

TP: Bottomlessness is frowned upon in the lower 48, but I’m glad that Canada is setting trends.

KA: What about Hawaii and Alaska?

TP: Palinville and Punanyland? They don’t really count.

KA: Fair enough. So tell me… what is so special about Los Angeles that they deserve not one but two NBA teams?

TP: LA deserves two teams of all great sports. The fact that we have zero football teams is just LA being funny.

KA: If that’s your logic, then the same should be said about Vancouver. What happened to the Raiders?

TP: The Raiders were here for 15-16 years, something like that. And Uncle Al… all he wanted was a kickass stadium – one with luxury boxes. LA promised they’d hook him up.

KA: Hold on… Uncle Al?

TP: Al Davis. The one and only owner of the Raiders.

KA: Okay. Keep going.

TP: N.W.A even has a line about him: “And quit giving juice to the Raiders / Cuz Al Davis / Never paid us“.

KA: Sounds hostile.

TP: The Raiders are silver and black because Al is color blind and he wanted the fans to see things like he does. He’s the original gangsta, which is why N.W.A loved him.

KA: Tony, you teach me something new every time I talk to you.

TP: Hahaha – menial trivia I’m sure.

KA: Someone somewhere will be interested in that fact. I, for one, am. That said, Lakers or Clippers?

TP: I am not a Kobe fan. But it’s hard not to be a Phil Jackson fan. I really wish the Clip Show was more competitive, because I would go to more of their games if they were.

KA: Nice lead-in. Kobe Bryant replaced Jerry West as the Lakers’ all-time leading scorer in tonight’s game. Does that do anything for you?

TP: Not really. Kobe began playing for the Lakers right outta high school. He’s almost always had great players around him. Jerry West spent four years in college.

KA: It’s okay. The Lakers lost to the Grizzlies tonight anyway. Point proven.

TP: See? Here’s another weird trivia bit that you may not be aware of but maybe you are.

KA: Do tell…

TP: The NBA logo is Jerry West.

Logo courtesy of NBA; Photo of Jerry West courtesy of Hoopedia

KA: Reeeeeeally? Kobe’s credibility between you and I just keeps getting weaker and weaker.

TP: Yep.

KA: That is nothing short of rad.

TP: I know!

KA: I can’t go any further without complimenting you on your spelling and grammar. I’m a bit particular about it myself – obsessive almost. How important is spelling, grammar and sentence structure in blogging?

TP: it all depends on what kind of blogging you’re doing.

KA: Is it important to you?

TP: Very.

KA: Phewf.

TP: I’m trying to do something arty. When it’s at its best, which it hasn’t been in a while, it should look drunken and wasted and nutz.

KA: Blogging ebbs and flows.

TP: Life ebbs and flows and you can’t always be the artiste you wanna be.

KA: Do people still use a “z” to pluralize?

TP: It all depends on what I’m trying to evoke.

KA: I bet you say “zee”.

TP: I think the Lord has blessed us with a large pallet in which to paint from, so we should use everything – but in the right way.

KA: Speaking of, if you weren’t a hot shot with the LA Times and the sole author or the busblog, do you think you would have instead been a man of the cloth? You make this too easy for me. It’s like you’re reading my mind.

TP: If only I could read minds, I would use that power for the hottest evil.

KA: More about that in a moment…

TP: Which is probably why they wouldn’t allow me in any monastery.

KA: True. But you’re pretty tight with the G-man, no?

TP: I am a devout believer, yes.

KA: That makes two of us. I’m diggin’ Isaiah these days.

TP: I just finished first Kings, so I’m still thinking a lot about David. I will be on Isaiah soon!

KA: Good!

“I read The Bible once. You know God and Jesus and all them apostles? They were all fishermen, just like me. Yeah, straight to heaven for Mick Dundee. Yep, me and God, we’d be mates.”

Is it that simple?

TP: Let’s hope! They say you go by the Grace of God, so who knows.

KA: And probably by the sweat of your brow.

TP: If I get in, it will be after much deliberation. Unlike you, I wont get a unanimous vote.

KA: I don’t know – I think things are a bit more cut and dry than that… especially in real life. Which merit do you think would earn me that unanimous vote?

TP: A) You’re a virgin;
B) you’re Canadian;
C) your blog design is gorge;
D) you love animals;
E) you love nature;
F) when you touch yourself you think of angels and butterflies;
G) you are super sweet to even those you don’t have to be…

KA: I don’t think my ego can handle you getting all the way to zee, but that’s a good start.

TP: Hahaha.

KA: Remember when we hung out in Vancouver about 20 years ago?

TP: Best summer vacation I’ve ever had!

KA: What’s so repulsive about this city that’s kept you away since? Does Vancouver smell funny?

TP: Vancouver smells so good that even its worst aroma is Hells Angels selling weed.

KA: I don’t think they sell it. I think they have other people that sell it for them.

TP: Whatevs, that whole block smelled awesome.

KA: If you come back to Vancouver this summer, we’ll go to the arcade again. And I’ll even let you borrow Jordy to go for a walk and pick up chicks.

TP: The reason I have never come back goes along those lines… I really got a massive crush on Foxy.

KA: I know you did.

TP: And it would be hard for me to not stalk her if I returned. Which isn’t the way you wanna roll when in Canada.

KA: Would she be upset if you stalked her?

TP: It’s hard to tell because she plays it so cool. She hardly ever writes me back when I write her, so who knows if she just doesn’t wanna talk or if she hates me.

KA: And you definitely don’t want to be a needy chick to Foxy.

TP: I don’t wanna be needy to anyone. I don’t mind chasing, but I don’t wanna be annoying.

KA: That’s a good balance. But the offer stands. My dog is a total magnet. You’d have hot chicks flocking to you like bees to honey.

TP: I’ve always had great luck up there, so I wouldn’t doubt it!

KA: Multiple luck from what I’ve heard.

TP: I think the girls are just tired of naturally handsome locals.

KA: “Naturally handsome locals” isn’t really an accurate blanket statement. Do you still have this shirt?

TP: Indeed I do! I’m thinking about wearing it to this really cool Super Bowl party on Sunday. It’s the cheesiest shirt I own, so why not?

KA: Who’s playing in the Super Bowl this year? New Orleans and…

TP: Peyton Manning’s Indy Colts.

KA: Are you placing any bets?

TP: I’m not, but if I was, I’d bet on the Colts – they have the experience. But my heart is with the Saints.

KA: Is that just your hunch talking?

TP: No. I just feel for the city of New Orleans and I know how much more important this would be for them. Indy has… oh so much but New Orleans could use a break.

KA: You know, I was thinking the same thing tonight as I watched the Suns in NOLA. Plus they’re down their star point-guard. A win would’ve been great for the city’s morale.

TP: Trust me, I am in 7 NBA fantasy leagues and I drafted that point guard #1 in three of those leagues. I know all too well about that sitch.

KA: Does that mean you’re out money?

TP: No I never play fantasy for $. People cheat enough as it is, but if it was for $ I’m afraid they’d totally cheat worse, and block me from making incredible trades. Today, for example, I pulled the trigger on a trade you may appreciate.

KA: Are you afraid of becoming addicted to gambling?

TP: The only thing I’m addicted to is blogging.

KA: That’s safe.

TP: Is it?

KA: You traded Amar’e Stoudemire, didn’t you?

TP: Close, Derrick Rose for the injured Carlos Boozer.

KA: That really doesn’t impact me either way.

TP: Me, I think it’s a brilliant trade.

KA: Plus, we got whipped by Utah last week.

TP: See, they’re really good. Some would say Boozer is their hidden reason.

KA: It’s possible, sure.

TP: But in fantasy he gives points, boards, blocks. Rose can only score and dole out a few assists.

KA: Fantasy sports, in my opinion, is really likened to WOW.

TP: Oh def – except with real people.

KA: Doesn’t it make you feel a little bit silly?

TP: No because it keeps me aware of EVERY team in the NBA, even the players on the bench.

KA: So there is some value to it.

TP: Tons. When I go to a game, I know every detail.

KA: Tony, we’ve been chatting for 53 minutes now. What kind of a feeling are you having about how we’re rolling?

TP: Chatting with you, Keira-Anne, is like dancing in the clouds with Gene Kelly.

KA: Would you be Gene Kelly?

TP: Wait, that’s a dude?!?! Aw crap.

KA: Yes.

TP: Ok, his girlfriend.

KA: You’d be his girlfriend?

TP: Chatting with you, Keira-Anne, is like being Spider-man upside-down kissing Kirsten Dunst in the rain while Sam Raimi directs.

KA: That was a hot kiss – very lippy. Have you ever kissed a girl like that?

TP: Not when it was raining.

KA: Were you wearing spandex?

TP: Just under my suit.

KA: So you were more like Superman…

TP: The only way I’m like Superman is that I work at a newspaper by day.

KA: And your name is cooler than “Clark”.

TP: Tony Pierce is a pretty good name, I must say.

KA: It’s a great name. May I compliment you for a moment?

TP: Hmmmm… fine.

KA: Woah, woah, woah… why the defense? (Do you like that I spelled it the American way just for you?)

TP: How are you supposed to spell it?

KA: In Canada we spell it as “defence”. Safari tells me that I just spelled it wrong.

TP: Ahhhh…

KA: For the record, I believe our French Canadian-influenced spelling looks odd. We also spell “center” as “centre”.

TP: Yes, I like that a lot.

KA: Anyway, enough deviation. I would just like to say that I enjoy speaking with you because you are one of those extremely rare people that expects authenticity from others while seemingly accepting them for who they are. And that, my friend, makes my heart happy.

TP: Awwww thank you! I don’t expect people to be authentic, but I’m very happy when they trust me enough to cut the act.

KA: Perhaps that’s a better way of articulating what I meant. You have a knack for encouraging people to cut the crap.

TP: I’m glad you feel comfortable with me. For sure!

KA: So as our time together draws to an end, is there anything that you want/need/wish the great people of Canada to know about you? Or do you simply want to bid us adieu and goodnight with a reminder of how warm it is in Cali right now?

TP: It’s not super warm here this minute.

KA: I bet it’s warmer than Vancouver.

TP: I have my little space heater on.

KA: I have my heater on in my little space.

TP: And no, I don’t want to try to convince Canada of anything about me. I trust that they will judge me accurately. I guess the only thing for me to say to the good people up there is “Thank You”. Mostly for visiting my site as much as they do and for always being welcoming and loving when I visit.

KA: Are the majority of your readers from Canada?

TP: At the bottom of my blog on the left rail it shows the countries. Right now it’s late, so almost everyone is from the West Coast of the USA. But during the day, when it matters, it’s about half Canada and half the USA.

KA: Well, whatever we may lack in numbers, we make up for in love and pixie dust for the busblog.

TP: Hooray!!! I do have one favor of you.

KA: Anything for you, Anthony Hugh Pierce III.

TP: I would like to ask you about your love life since we have been tracking it on the busblog. So table’s turned! Ms. Keira-Anne, tell us that you’re not still a single woman. Tell us that some smart man has swooped you up.

KA: Is the interviewee allowed to ask the interviewer questions?

TP: I believe you just said, “Anything for you, Anthony Hugh Pierce III“.

KA: This is true. I can’t deny what I said or eat my words.

TP: But since you are a gentlewoman I will allow you one no comment.

KA: I am still a single woman and no smart man has swooped me up.

TP: Now how again is this at all possible?? You walk to work?

KA: I do walk to work each day.

TP: And no guys smile as you pass by?

KA: Sometimes the construction workers. But more no than yes.

TP: When you go out with your friends to eat, or better, to drink, no guys send over a nice drink and wave?

KA: I had a guy buy me drinks on my birthday. Then I found out he was engaged. Who does that? Needless to say, I bolted.

TP: Dick! Do you have any single lady BFFs?

KA: Sure do. Well, single ladies. No BFFs for this girl.

TP: Am I to believe that you and your single ladies don’t go out 1-2 times a month to prowl the bars and/or bowling alleys searching for testosterone?

KA: You know that’s not how I roll.

TP: It’s just walking that catwalk. Letting the fools know what they lucked into.

KA: I do that every time I leave my apartment…

TP: Fair enough. You’ve answered more than one question, so thank you. One follow-up though, totally unrelated.

KA: Go for it.

TP: Power Windows… Sorry, Tinted Windows

KA: What about tinted power windows?

TP: Your boy leading that super group.

KA: Aww yeah Taylor Hanson. It didn’t really take off as much as it could have. But the thing is, he gels best with his brothers. Anything else he tries, in my opinion, will pale in comparison.

TP: Glad to hear it. I was afraid you’d drank the Kool-Aid.

KA: Never. Unless it’s lime.

TP: Awesome. Well thanks for the interview.

KA: No, no… thank you.

There is something to be said for knowing one’s self, but identifying one’s self is something entirely different. It’s nothing short of amazing to me to see the ways in which I have changed through each year of my life, and of how I have transformed from girl to young lady to woman. And even as such, I still have next to no idea what that really means. I know who I am, I know my name, what I like, what I dislike, what I’ve experienced and what I desire. All of that is pertaining only to me, but what about me as a woman? That’s an entirely separate entity, however marked with many of the same traits that I likely share with the other more than three billion women in this world.

I have one friend who is dear to me for reasons that are unique to her. Emily and I have known each other since we traded juice boxes in kindergarten, and more than two decades later, I’d still share my lime Kool-Aid with her. Two years ago she found herself moving to Europe, and as of right now, she’s dreamily drifting back and forth between Spain and Portugal.

Yesterday Emily and I were talking like we normally do every few weeks, and as she shared with me some of the challenges she’d been facing lately, the topic of being a woman surfaced in our discussion. While it’s honest to say that the delicacies of the fairer sex can at times be a source of great frustration and eye-rolling for many men, make no mistake that we frustrate our own selves just as much. Men may find us to be complex, complicated, emotional and even – at times – ridiculous, but we women often paint ourselves with the same brush. It’s difficult to grasp objectivity when we look at ourselves.

The epiphanies that Emily and I concluded on seemed to be an incredible light bulb moment for us both. Women over-think, overanalyze, over-scrutinize, calculate and solve problems. While those traits can, on the surface, be charming to very few, Emily and I realized that it’s simply in our nature as women. It is ingrained in our feminine disposition to nurture, to love, to resolve, to maintain control, create order out of chaos, to make peace and to roll up our sleeves and get the dirty work done. So often we’re encouraged to do the opposite, but going against the fabric of what defines us is nothing short of stifling.

Many may argue that the Bible is an unreliable source, but it’s been trusted in by hundreds of generations as a compass for life. While some will fight tooth and nail to prove that it’s the absolute Word of God, it’s hard for me to believe that, through countless versions and languages, more than a few things haven’t been lost in translation along the way. However, the messages and parables of peace, love, kindness, righteousness and trust are never off course. This afternoon I found myself at the end of Proverbs:

“Her worth is far above jewels…

[She] works with her hands in delight…

She considers a field and buys it;
From her earnings she plants a vineyard.

She girds herself with strength
And makes her arms strong.
She senses that her gain is good;
Her lamp does not go out at night…

Strength and dignity are her clothing,
And she smiles at the future.
She opens her mouth in wisdom,
And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain.”

Proverbs 31: 10-30 (NASB)

Too often I find myself beating myself up for what is in my very nature. Society commonly lends itself to unspoken and unwritten expectations of cynicism, hopelessness, guarded and implicit behavior in women. Women who display love and a gentle nature are often the first suspects.

Just as it is for Emily, so too will your life never be without challenges, tests of strength, events that shape your character and dealings that result in ultimate joy. At times things can seem downright frightening, but the only thing worth fearing is an existence so stagnant that we are no longer presented with the opportunities that are imperative to becoming the people –and the women – that we are each capable of being. No one knows whom the woman King Lemuel spoke of in that particular passage is, but I know for certain that’s the type of woman I aspire to be.

Author’s Foreword: This post is lovingly dedicated to my dear friend Andrea, a woman who shares many of my compulsions. Language is only one of them. Reading thesauruses may be another.

While earlier pondering this blog post, I was formulating what I thought would be the perfect opening anecdote. Upon further consideration, I realized that whether it related to my topic or not was moot, so I’ve decided to drop it altogether and cut to the chase.

“What’s the deal with language these days?”

When ICQ made its first appearance in 1996, chat speak was born. Words and phrases became abbreviated and emotions were instead expressed through cleverly strung together punctuation marks. Further still, punctuation itself was completely thrown out the window. It’s a slippery slope, my friends, and since then we’ve been inundated by way of MSN, AOL, text messaging, MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, e-mail, e-cards, blogs, webcams and smart phones.

While technology has certainly made the world a smaller place and brought people closer together (though that is still open to debate), it has also turned us into incredibly disgusting and ridiculously languid communicators.

Photo: MrPhilDog on Flickr

It can be assumed that the majority of Canadians have been taught, generally speaking, a basic education in the public school system. Many more of us have been fortunate enough to attend post-secondary institutions. The expectation concerning our quality of work only increases as we pursue higher levels of schooling. Words – both written and spoken – are arguably the strongest method of communication no matter which language one speaks.

Have I missed something along the way? I was by no means the most scholastic student in any given class. I made efforts when warranted, pulled off a consistent ‘B’ average throughout most of academia and never gave one subject more attention over another. Yet somehow I’ve still managed to walk away with an understanding of spelling, grammar and punctuation.

An alarming rate of educated adults still mix up contractions with possessive words. “A lot” has always been, and will always be, two separate words. When joining two thoughts with “and,” why use a comma? The “and” in the middle is the conjoiner. Run-on sentences are never acceptable and the only exception to this rule is if your name is Ernest Hemingway or Raymi. Though, even those two know what’s what.

The truth is that this unfortunate phenomenon is not restricted to chat windows and Facebook walls. Glaring blunders are popping up in grocery store fliers, newspapers, magazines, work-related correspondence and on billboards. I can’t help but wonder if our educations have failed us or if we simply no longer care. It’s time for the lost art of language to make a triumphant return.