Posted on February 14, 2013
The Reluctant Bride
Please note that I did not call this post “The Reluctant Wife”.
When I was much, much younger, dreaming about my would-be wedding day was the norm. My Barbie dolls often fought over a lacy wedding dress. In my teens I scooped up every copy of Martha Stewart Weddings I could get my hands on. TLC’s A Wedding Story was a must-watch throughout most of my 20s.
When J and I first became engaged in Hawaii this past December, I had already purchased my first bridal magazine before we were wheels-up out of Kauai. Shortly after, I registered on The Knot. A few weeks later I received a wedding planning book from my mom. And only a few short days after that, I had finally had enough.
Childhood dreams are different from adult realities. I love and adore the man I’m preparing to marry and I am excited to be his wife. But to be his bride? That’s another wedding story. Once my life transitioned from being a “single dreamer” to a “betrothed bride-to-be”, I was truly surprised to learn what actually mattered to me as a woman and to us as couple embarking on marriage.
The wedding industry, as it is, has become a lucrative part of the biggest parties of people’s lives. That’s not at all to critique those who host huge wedding celebrations nor those who are employed in the industry. However, J and I very quickly discovered that it simply isn’t for us.
The average wedding in Canada today costs $28,000. That’s also a fair chunk of a down payment on a home. Our priorities quickly became abundantly clear. It isn’t that we won’t be having a wedding celebration. What we do have will be small, simple, elegant and very affordable. We certainly don’t need to spend a lot of money to genuinely celebrate, and so we won’t.
But you really didn’t think I wouldn’t get a wedding dress, did you? Whether it was back-to-school shopping, my prom dress or even keeping above water with current style trends, I am always the last to the party. I bank on the very last minute available to me. Finding a dress was the first thing I wanted to do – needed to do.
Filling out the paperwork…
Measure twice, dress once. Checking our lists.
For as long as I can remember, I envisioned a slender, lacy gown that was entirely subtle. Once I actually set out to find the right dress for me, I quickly realized I wanted lots and lots drama.
Did I find the dress? I found two. Both lovely, both high on drama and style but still squeaking into my very reasonable price range (thanks for that, Mom). Neither dress is pictured here so you’ll just have to wait… and wait… and wait until after we’re married to figure out what I chose.