“WHY DON’T YOU LICK IT?”

That’s what Tania asked after all was said and done.

Blame it on my insatiable desire for season three of Oz. I burned through the remaining episodes of season two last night and asked Tania if she wanted to quickly hit up Future Shop. After a stop there and at IGA for a few groceries, we made our way home.

I have a habit of yanking my keys out of my purse a block or two from home, though always careful to hook the ring around a finger or two. I guard my keys with my life – they’re my only set and a key fob replacement is $100.

Rounding the corner at Richards and Seymour, what I never guessed would happen happened.

Storm drain


Photo: Ctd 2005 on Flickr

It was as slow as slow motion can be. I felt the key ring gently slip off my right index finger and watched as gravity sucked my keys towards the ground and in between the cold steel bars of a storm drain.

Oh my god – what do I do? What do I do?” was all I could exclaim. It’s fuzzy now but I’m sure some expletives leaked out too. My first instinct was to hunker down, grab the bars and pull. No go – welded shut. The keys were only swimming in a few inches of water about two feet below street level but there was no way to get into the grate.

A few people that passed by suggested flagging a cop or calling the City of Vancouver. Tania tried to reassure me that we could easily have building security give me a new fob, but there was no way I was leaving the access to my whole life on the side of the street.

I thought “no way!” to myself and squatted down again, grabbed the bars and pulled. With some sort of superhuman strength, the grate budged and I gleefully yelled at Tania to help me. We lifted it off, put the grate to the side and I didn’t waste a second laying my body down on the curb to reach down. My fingers searched the murky water, grabbed the keys and hopped up. Thankfully, a young man nearby offered to replace the grate lid for us.

And so, only minutes after I nearly melt right down, we were on our way home once again. Extending them an arms-length in front of me, I asked Tania if she wanted to smell the keys. She didn’t.

13 Comments on ““WHY DON’T YOU LICK IT?”

  1. Haha…I had that fear every time i carried my keys while walking. Needless to say they stay in my pocket or purse until the last minute,

  2. STILL can’t believe that JUST happened! LOL!
    Thank goodness this story has a happy ending we can laugh about now 😀

  3. I would have had a heart attack if my keys had fallen down a storm drain! I always fear that they are going to fall through the gap between the elevator door and the outside world.

  4. haha way to go. How perfect would it have been if you were lying on the ground with your arm in the sewer and your request walked by.

  5. haha way to go. Operation sewer keys! How perfect would it have been if you were lying on the ground with your arm in the sewer and your request walked by.

  6. I once dropped my keys in the gap between the elevator and floor of the building. Managed to fish them out with a coat hanger, but still very traumatic. And now everytime I get into an elevator with my keys in hand I hold on extra tight!

  7. Yay for you! I know that feeling…when I was in India a small bird fell into a gutter on the street head first and I panicked and fished him out…only to have my mates remind me that I’d just shoved my hands into raw sewage…needless to say I spent the next half hour scrubbing the shit (pun intended) out of my hands – but I still got Giardisis a week later – oh well, part of the adventure of life.

    Happy Key Day!

  8. Wow!

    I have always had a fear of my keys falling into a storm drain. I clinch them in my fist when I am near one. I always thought the covers were heavy, but I guess you’ve got muscles!

    Cool that you got them back and some guy helped replace the cover for you. Does the fob still work from being wet?

  9. I always have a fear of my keys falling between the elevator and the floor. That would be lost. Replacing keys is such a bitch.

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