Comments on: IT TAKES LITTLE MONEY TO CATCH YOUR HONEY

By: Raul

Raul — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 20:36:41 +0000

In the gay community, this phenomenon is quite prevalent and is touted “condom fatigue”. Unfortunately, it is VERY common now, as Derek said, because AIDS isn’t the death sentence it used to be.

By: takeitasred

takeitasred — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 10:07:56 +0000

I don’t understand how people can be so relaxed about the very scary realities of STDs and unwanted pregnancies. The 1% failure rate of the most effective forms of hormonal birth control means some people still become pregant even with perfect use. And trusting someone’s statement that they are “clean” seems really naive and stupid. Sure, some STDs are treatable, and pregnancy is not the end of the world, but who really wants to spend the time and money on medications, or an abortion, or the cost of raising a kid when you’re unprepared? For the cost of a box of condoms, or the cost of a birth control perscription, which is way less than the cost of treating any of the previous situations? I double up on birth control methods because I have way more fun when I don’t have to worry about diseases or pregnancy because I’m doing everything I can. Am I paranoid? probably. But am I also clean, and pregnancy-free so far? yes!

By: Derek K. Miller

Derek K. Miller — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 08:11:42 +0000

Yikes. I suspect this trend has emerged because AIDS is no longer the automatic death sentence it once was, and people are no longer completely scared shitless about it. But that’s not an excuse: it’s still out there, as are all the other STDs that haven’t gone away.

And if you’re straight, here’s a note: my wife and I have two kids. For each one, we stopped using condoms when we were ready, and she was pregnant within ONE WEEK. That was a surprise both times: we didn’t think we were THAT fertile.

Now that our daughters are approaching their teen years, and if this is the trend, we’re going to have to be very sure to reinforce the always-use-a-condom message, preferably in conjunction with another form of birth control. They understand how things work already, but this bizarro social pressure is something they’ll have to be prepared to resist.

By: Ariane

Ariane — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 06:00:49 +0000

Basically, I’ll ditto what Ross said. Wouldn’t even think of it unless I was in a long-term monogamous relationship! STD’s are still around, and until you’re *thoroughly* tested and can trust that both parties are monogamous, that’s not the kind of chance worth taking.

My friends tend to be on the responsible side, so it definitely isn’t common practice to go sans condom for anyone who’s not married, and even then many girls I know prefer to use condoms even in LT relationships rather than use hormonal birth control because of the side effects. IUDs seem to be becoming more popular, but only for those in monogamous relationships, because of the risks they pose if you get an STD with one (in women getting an STD while having an IUD has crazy risks for damaging the uterus so much that you can’t have kids).

Anyway, as a person in my late 20’s, I can say condoms are far from dead, I don’t know who all these no-condom people are, but I would be horrified if someone I started seeing even so much as suggested not using them!

By: Link Love « Talking To Air

Link Love « Talking To Air — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 05:08:41 +0000

[...] Keira-Anne, who’s blog I love to read, has a great post about condom use amongst the single people these days. I wanted to leave a comment, but I’m so old, I [...]

By: Peter

Peter — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 17:35:23 +0000

I’m in my 30s, and have only been in two relationships where condoms weren’t used.

Though, in general, with the other women I’ve usually been the one insisting on the rubber. That surprised me.

Maybe it was because I grew up watching Joey Jeremiah.

By: Lindsay

Lindsay — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 16:45:26 +0000

They are a must!

That is all.

By: jss

jss — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 13:42:35 +0000

It scares the bejesus out of me. Especially people who go along the lines of “if you want to use a condom, it means you don’t really love me or trust me”. Erm, no. As for the pulling out excuse, give me a break, anyone ignorant enough to put me at risk and potentially make me endure an unwanted pregnancy or an abortion doesn’t belong in my bed.

As someone pointed out, the scary thing is that it is an attitude displayed by highly educated middle class men and women who had access to sex ed and who most likely have access to sex clinics and free contraception (it is the case in France and the UK and everyhting can easily be obtained for free, I can’t remember how birth control is distributed in Canada?) i.e they have no excuse to put someone else at risk of emotionally black mail their (often too shy to refuse) girlfriends (and sometimes boyfriends).

Add to this that many STDs are asymptomatic but could endager one’s fertility if untreated (such as chlamydia) and you have no.fucking.excuse. Grrrrr.

Also, I have been in more or less long term relationships (+6 months) when I didn’t feel comfortable giving up condoms for a variety of reasons. Better safe than sorry.

/ getting down my high horse

By: Stephanie

Stephanie — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 04:17:15 +0000

I’ve noticed the same “trend” amongst my friends. Both men and women, most highly educated. Not using condoms if in a relationship is pretty much a given, and I would say that using condoms with booty calls, or uncommitted hook-ups hovers at about 50%. People often don’t admit to it straight off the bat–it seems to be considered more of a social blunder to admit you didn’t use a condom rather than a serious health risk.

By: Laura

Laura — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 03:47:46 +0000

I have heard the same thing from others. I broke up with my fiance of four years in January, and so I was a little out of the loop on dating practices, but the first person I had a (perhaps ill-advised) hookup with after my breakup tried to get away with that with me. I was like, okay, if you will sleep with me without a condom right from the get-go, then how many other women have you done that with? HELL NO.

I now have a boyfriend I’ve been with for four months and we haven’t even broached the subject of ditching condoms yet. I don’t get it – it’s not a big deal to use one, so why put your health at risk?