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Today, the one thing my morning escape to Starbucks had in common with my lunch break was the way in which I walked during both instances. My feet shuffle-clicked down the sidewalk, my face frozen in stoicism. My girlfriend from the office asked me if either something happened or if there was any particular reason for the sullen demeanour. While nothing specific was the cause, the reason was the same as always. My bottom line was that I was just tired – exhausted – of shitty people.

I’m certainly no angel or specimen of perfection. But at the very least, my integrity dictates that I, at the very least, aim to do the right thing. At times I miss the target, but my aim is always true.

“Don’t you wish that you could just crawl under a rock and hide from everyone sometimes?” she asked.

“Actually, no,” I replied. “What I’d like to see is all the assholes of the world quarantined and separated from the herd. Why should I live either in misery or in social hiding because of a few shitty people?”

It wasn’t the response I believe my girlfriend expected. It wasn’t the response I expected to give either. And it is because of this that I am selectively social; most of the time I choose simply my own company or that of one or two other people as opposed to any more.

Today I realized that my cynicism is no longer embittering. In truth, it’s nearly laughable and practically borders on reality instead of something with a negative connotation. I cannot pretend that each aspect of life does not exist – the good, the bad or the hideously ugly. In fact, you, me and everyone else will encounter these aspects until the day we each breathe our last breath. And that’s it. That is the bottom line.

For the longest time I lamented over so much. Over people who had abandoned me, friends who betrayed me, men who had used me, taxi drivers who swore at me, salespeople who dished a side of attitude with my purchases or bus drivers who cut me off in traffic. I am quite sure we each have a unique list in this regard.

To that I ask: what is the point? The pessimism will only mutate as it rots. And while I’d like to live a life in a world that is free from bigotry, hatred, betrayal, lies and control, it is an impossibility. Though it would be ideal to live in a world that offers nothing but love, acceptance, joy, exhilaration and unending satisfaction, that is equally an impossibility.

I will never be free from somewhat of a feeling of cynicism. We are all only human and most of what we feel is a natural reaction. If someone puts a fresh-baked strawberry rhubarb pie in front of me, I instantly feel elated and thrilled. On the other hand, if I were to be pushed past on the sidewalk and perhaps called a name under that person’s breath, my immediate reaction would be one of anger and defensiveness. Are not both feelings and reactions equally valid?

It’s time to stop beating ourselves up over what we feel. As long as it is an honest feeling, it is okay and it is valid. While some of you may see me as The Girl Who Was Too Cynical Before Her Time, I like to think of myself instead as The Girl Who Is Real and True To What She Experiences.

1. My Hair

Thank you all for your marvelous input and suggestions on my new ‘do this weekend. I suppose it comes with no surprise that “the big reveal” will take place on Saturday, so stay tuned for the drum roll…

2. The Women

Last night, after a gorge-fest on Olympia pizza and Pacific Pilsner beer (what can I say? I’m an Island girl), Amy and I burned off calories by heading across the Burrard Street bridge and found ourselves at Fifth Avenue Cinemas. In the spirit of all things womanly, we took in the 2008 remake of 1939′s “The Women,” starring, well, a lot of women.

In particular, some of those women include Meg Ryan, Eva Mendes, Debra Messing, Jada Pinkett Smith, Bette Midler, Candice Bergen, Cloris Leachman (who was terrific!) and Annette Bening (who is very quickly becoming one of my favourite actresses). Though I felt the movie lacked in character development, it made up for it with humour, relatable storylines and a few fabulous handbags. [website]

3. Stella McCartney CARE

I’ve now had a few days to try out the full line of Stella McCartney CARE products sent to me last week by Matchstick. My tote bag full of delicious-smelling, pretty-packaged, 100% active organic ingredient skin care has proven to be a lot of fun to try! Here’s the breakdown…

Purifying Foaming Cleanser – This by far my favourite of the two cleansers sent to me. It has a delicate and light – yet luxurious – foaming quality to it that truly leaves my skin feeling clean.

Gentle Cleansing Milk – This was the second of two cleansers I tried, and while the idea of a gentle milk to cleanse my skin sounds dreamy, it didn’t feel as though my skin was clean after (and that feeling is important to a girl!) so it’s not the cleanser I’d choose. Smells great though…

Toning Floral Water – I wish I had this a few months ago in the heat of summer! It’s a refreshing, aromatic water mist that spritzes in a steady stream, leaving my skin feeling cool, dewy and fresh.

5 Benefits Moisturizing Fluid – One of two daily moisturizers and this one has been receiving the majority of my attention. It’s a milky, light cream that locks in the love I get from the Toning Floral Water. I’m totally okay with natural, woodsy scents, so this one gets two thumbs up from me.

5 Benefits Moisturizing Cream – This is the sister product to the 5 Benefits Moisturizing Fluid and to me is really no different except in that it’s seemingly got a heavier concentration and a richer viscosity. I haven’t used it as much but have no doubt that it will be fantastic when those drying days of Winter hit.

Nourishing Night & Day Cream – Definitely not something that is necessary on a daily basis, but sometimes a girl’s skin needs a bit of extra TLC. This is where the Nourishing Night & Day Cream comes in. It’s like the 5 Benefits Moisturizing Cream on natural steroids. It’s rich, it’s deep and it’s intense. Use only before bedtime.

Radiance & Youth Elixir, Calming & Soothing Elixir and Nourishing Elixir – Ahhh…the elixirs. My absolute favourite part of the line! Remember those “Choose Your Own Adventure” books we all loved as kids? Consider the elixirs to be somewhat of a “Choose Your Own Skin Today” potion. Each is a heavily concentrated serum intended to pair up with your moisturizer for added benefits, and each is designed with a different skin goal in mind.

I’ve found the Radiance & Youth Elixir great in the mornings before applying make-up for a brand spanking new skintone and the Calming & Soothing Elixir does just that at the end of the day. The Nourishing Elixir is strong and derived of natural oils, so use it sparingly and only when your skin needs a bit of extra attention.

IN SUMMARY

My overall impression of Stella McCartney’s CARE skin care line is definitely favourable! I’ve long been a big fan of natural and organic products when available but find they often miss the mark. While I feel there is a bit of room for tweaking, I am quite sure Stella is onto something really good here.

Suggestions for the future? One absolute essential that is missing from the line is a daily exfoliant or scrub to slough off dead skin cells. Also, I am rather fond of cleansers that take off all make-up – including mascara. It was a bit of a pain in the butt to employ the use of a specific make-up remover. Sometimes a girl just doesn’t have time!

While I can’t say I would purchase the entire line, there are certainly a few pieces that I can’t imagine not having in my bathroom – in particular the Toning Floral Water and a couple of the Elixirs. Stella McCartney CARE is available across Canada at Holt Renfrew and in the United States at Sephora. For more information on the entire line of products, please visit the official Stella McCartney CARE website.

The appointment is next Saturday. Tell me what to do.

First and foremost, I wanted to let all of you know that despite the Province-wide goal of $850,000 for this year’s Paws For A Cause, over $1,000,000 was raised! A huge and humble thank you again to all who supported those walking for the SPCA…

Tonight I watched Run, Fatboy, Run and it was great and you should go rent slash buy it now, okay? It was funny, funny, funny! The website is here.

This was cute:

Priceless.

Goodnight.

Years ago, when I still spent the Summer months at a beachfront kids’ camp, I was given the nickname “Princess of Products.” I had stuff – so much stuff – in bottles, jars and containers. Lotions, potions, perfumes and make-up. In fact, I am constantly on a quest for a skin care line to call my own. After 27 years of searching, I settled on Clinique, if only because I consider it to be “Old Faithful.”

Then one day last week I got a phone call…

As it turned out, the lovely folks at Matchstick thought me and Stella McCartney would really hit it off. Stella McCartney has recently released a full line of luxury skin care products called CARE, made with 100% organic active ingredients. Agreeing to try out the goods was a no-brainer for this chica, and today I received a tote bag full of goodies!

Aside from some yummy essential orange oil and organic tea, the tote bag contained nine items from the Stella McCartney CARE line:

I’m such a sucker for pretty packaging. Each product came in a shiny, silver tube which can easily be reusable. And the product inside? All items in the Stella McCartney CARE line are ECOCERT certified, guaranteeing social and ecological values. I should also mention that the inserts were printed on 100% recycled paper – thoughtful touch, Miss McCartney.

The natural scents danced lightly under my nose as soon as I opened the packages. The fragrances are composed of 100% organic essential oils. Before hitting the bathroom with my new loot, I logged into the official website to read more about the products and how they’re best used. Surprisingly, I also found some tips on alternate uses for the items – check them out for yourself.

Tonight I cracked open a few to try, so make sure to check back in a day or two for the re-cap. Because there’s such a variety to experiment with, I’ll need a few days to give them all a whirl.

And last, but certainly not least, a few words from Stella herself:

“My skin is important to me. It’s one of the first things people notice about you. But for many years now, I have found myself dissatisfied with what is available in the world of skincare. Just because I don’t want to put something unnatural on my face, doesn’t mean I should have to make sacrifices. I ask the same things as you do from my skincare; I want it to help me feel and look younger, more radiant. I also expect it to feel rich and luxurious and to sit proudly on my bathroom shelf. It needs to fit into my lifestyle in an uncomplicated way. Why shouldn’t it be possible to adopt a more natural, organic lifestyle without foregoing luxury?”

I couldn’t have said it better myself.

It’s Fall, it’s getting colder out, time to wear warmer clothing, blah blah blah. Are you even surprised that this is also my favourite season to shop for? I have a lot of great jeans, two pairs of warm UGGs and enough cute sweaters and cardigans to last me until Spring.

Often I choose Fashion over Function, but in this case, the two Fs go hand-in-hand. The fact that it’s also Fall is just a threesome of Fs.

I love Marc. He makes me smell good. He’d make me fashionable too.

My mom had Frye boots in the 1970s. For years they collected dust in our house after she no longer wanted to wear them, and now they are gone without a trace (much to my chagrin). I want these ones, but they cost a lot. A lot.

Maybe I won’t be able to bundle myself in this Marc Jacobs dream or own the sidewalk in these Frye boots, but I need a new Fall and Winter jacket as well as some boots that aren’t UGGs or stilettos. Or maybe I could buy one and not the other.

Help me! Suggestions!

Any obscure places I should hunt out?

*This post is about tampons. You might be grossed out. Consider yourself warned.*

A few weeks ago, I was contacted by the friendly people at Matchstick, curious to know if I’d be interested in giving o.b. tampons a try. I’m a girl, thus tampons are an important part of my monthly purchases. A good friend of mine swears by o.b., and whenever her and I are out somewhere and I find myself in a moment of need, she will unfailingly slip an o.b. tampon under the stall door. So, I figured it was worth a week-long shot.

Matchstick sent me a bunch of neato stuff. In my reusable tote bag, I found a week’s supply pour moi, hot water bottle (a godsend, really), eye mask, durable water bottle and the July, 2008 edition of Elle Canada (FYI: it’s September). Also included in the tote were 20 to-go sample packs to hand out to all my girlfriends (let me know if you want one or two to try).

Keep in mind that you’re talking with a girl who only ever uses Tampax Pearl tampons. In truth, I find the average tampon provides just as adequate protection as the next, so for me, it’s all about the applicator. Here’s where o.b. tampons differ: one is required to employ, um, manual application. While I find the idea of less waste in the environment enticing, this was the deal breaker for me.

Though I have no qualms with this manual application concept, it simply isn’t efficient for me (personally speaking, of course). I found the process to take twice as long than with a regular applicator, and then you have that much more of a…mess…to deal with. I’m more of a 1, 2, GO girl.

I kept to my word and used o.b. for an entire week. While I find they’re great in a pinch, easy to conceal (rather than taking your entire handbag to the bathroom) and obviously environmentally friendly, I think I’ll be sticking with my usual brand. Don’t take my word for it though: click here to get your own free “mighty. small.” sample of o.b. tampons.

I should be making the rounds on street corners with Becky right now. Today is the Vancouver Sun’s annual Raise A Reader day. Local celebrities, politicians, men (and women) in uniform and NHL hockey players are joined by volunteers to hock copies of the Vancouver Sun in an effort to raise awareness and funds for childrens’ literacy programs across British Columbia.

Photo: miss604 on Flickr

Needless to say, it seems as though Becky enjoyed her outing on Raise A Reader day in 2007.

I must admit, however, that part of me is glad to be in my office at the moment and not out there. 2004 was the first year I experienced Raise A Reader. I was still in school, living downtown and making my way on a combination of a student line-of-credit and a minimum wage job at American Eagle Outfitters. My budget was tight – tight!

That particular morning, as I walked to work, I had not two pennies in my wallet to rub together. Raise A Reader volunteers were everywhere on every corner. Finally I encountered Premier Gordon Campbell at the corner of Burrard and Georgia. His guilt trip on me over not buying a paper (keep in mind: no pennies) practically reduced me to tears in the middle of rush hour pedestrian traffic. The man was in my face. It scarred me.

This many years later, times have changed and I can now gladly and easily afford to support this cause without a problem. I won’t lie though – coming to work this morning felt very much like navigating that same minefield.

I started writing this post yesterday, but for whatever reason I never got to finish it. Then I looked at it again this morning and thought it to be quite…lame. So instead, I’m just starting over. Which is, essentially, what Fall is all about for me. I love the changing of colours, of smells, of textures and everything else that visually – and literally – represents change.

Photo: likeyesterday on Flickr

That being said, and without further ado, my endless list of reasons to love Fall…

- Waking up to the rain outside, only to realize it’s Saturday
- Wet leaves pasted to the ground
- Filling my closet with soft sweaters
- Hot tea in giant mugs
- Guilt-free movie marathons
- Climbing back under a warm duvet in the morning is most satisfying in the Fall
- The first day you feel that crispness in the air and know that the season has turned over
- Jack-o-Lanterns!
- Wearing UGGs every single day without any funny looks (or remarks from my mom)
- Scarves and mittens and toques – oh my!
- Pumpkin Spice Lattes
- Rain, rain and more rain
- Driving the stretch of coastal highway between Courtenay and Parksville in the late afternoon with the light smell of woodsmoke in the air
- After time spent obsessively checking the snowcam, discovering that the first snow has fallen at Mt. Washington (which is due to open December 5 – happy birthday to me!)
- Knowing that the Christmas season is around the corner…
- Baking pies
- Fall shopping

Photo: /3 on Flickr (used with permission)

I’m sure I could keep at this list for much, much longer, but instead I turn it over to you all: what are some of your favourite things about Fall?

P.S. This post is still lame.

Me: So did you figure out what to make for dinner?

Stephen: Ya, I just took a steak out of the freezer.

Me: Yum.

Stephen: Doesn’t it seem kind of counterproductive to go for a run then go to McDonald’s?

Me: Not really. As long as I don’t eat a bajillion calories there.

Stephen: I see.

Me: I’ve been eating it my whole life!

Stephen: Haha maybe it’s just building up inside of you, ready to give you some kind of disease!

Me: What kind of disease?

Stephen: All kinds probably. I don’t know how you don’t feel like dying when you eat it.

Me: I feel like dying from the awesomeness on my tongue…

Okay so I have never been one to really run. When I started going to the gym three weeks ago, I told my trainer that I’d be totally into weight training but count me out for cardio. I hate it and I pretty much always have. But then something weird happened. The more I worked out, the stronger I became and before I knew it, I wanted to run to the gym. Quelle bizarre behavior!

Yup, I’ve definitely gotten stronger, more toned and very much more Bosworth in the last few weeks. I skipped the gym after work today because I actually felt like going for a run to bust off some stress instead.

I started out in Gastown, went up Main Street to Crab Park, all along the waterfront to Waterfront Road, under Canada Place, up through Coal Harbour to the corner of Hastings and Broughton and then back down to Burrard, up to Pender and straight down Pender until I hit the Tinseltown McDonald’s.

All in, 40 minutes later I had covered 4.63km of territory without stopping once. Not only can I not believe that I actually ran, but did so without stopping. Good tunes (The Pixies, Jay-Z and Daft Punk to name a few) and supportive sneakers are key, it seems.

I picked up a great pair of Nike runners at Winner’s for only $70 this week, and so far, it’s been a wise investment. Another tip: make the trek to Burlington, WA and hit the new Lululemon Factory Outlet. The same outfit that I’d priced at about $150 with tax on Robson Street cost me a mere USD$60 with tax last Saturday.

Question for all you runners: Why the heck do I still get that same side cramp that plagued me in elementary school track and field, and how do I get rid of it?

Highlight Of The Day

It seems that being sweaty and joggy is more attractive to men than being dressed-up and strutting. While I oddly got more than my fair share of male attention today, as I jogged past the fire station at Main and Powell, I was greeted by a trio of firefighters who were delighted to wave and wink. Ahhh…rescue me.

Awkward Moment Of The Day

As I was walking home from work, a well-dressed man much shorter than me approached with a puzzled look on his face. Sweetly, I asked if he was lost. He wrung his hands for a brief moment. “Ah, yah, I’m looking for a tall blonde girl…know of any?” I instantly had a flashback to the time Samantha got motorboated, shook my head no and flashed a lovely goodbye smile as I kept on walking.