THE HEART OF THE MATTER
I promised, and so I deliver. Now that I’ve given myself a few days to absorb all that was Sex and the City (movie-style) – and all of you a fair chance to see it for yourselves – it’s time to talk.
Throughout the entire film, I felt excitement and elation and that sense of a fuzzy security blanket as I watched the ladies of Manhattan reunited. It had been more than three years since we left the ladies brunching at their usual spot upon Carrie’s return from Paris, and I couldn’t have been happier to play catch up. Miranda and Steve were well settled into married life with Brady in tow, Charlotte and Harry had their hands full with Lily (and finally a new baby on the way), and Samantha proved that some things don’t change – including her lust for Smith Jerrod.
Photo: New Line Cinema
Since hearing that Sex was being filmed for the silver screen, anytime the topic had come up, there was one thing I always stated: after six years, I simply cannot handle any further drama between Big and Carrie. But let’s be honest here – how can you not have a film that centres on Big and Carrie without the contents of Charlotte’s pants hitting the fan? I suppose it was inevitable.
After finding their dream penthouse on Fifth Avenue, Ms. Bradshaw’s insecurity over having no legal rights turns into a discussion about marriage, and so in a rather formal and contractual manner, Big and Carrie agree to get married. Like almost anything in life, the path to matrimony soon becomes a slippery slope, finding Carrie vying for Vivienne Westwood while inviting 200 guests to the New York Library. John James Preston, on the other hand, is vouching for a low-key civil ceremony (that man’s got the right idea).
Photo: New Line Cinema
‘A’ leads to ‘B’ and ‘B’ leads to ‘C,’ and before you know it, Miranda’s dispelling toxic love advice to Big on the eve of the wedding – a result of yet another fight between her and Steve spurned out of his heartbreaking infidelity. The day arrives, Carrie’s in couture and – to no one’s surprise – Big’s limo is headed in the opposite direction. In one of the most passionate and angry scenes between these two we’ve ever been witness to, Charlotte’s “no!” was the no heard ‘round the world.
The majority of the film, beyond that point, brings us to another level – something beautiful that showed the viewers that it wasn’t a movie about a love story gone wrong. Beyond all the cynicism and doubt the preceding events enforced in my own head and heart, I was open to the concept that it was about the two “F’s.” I’m not talking about another word for colouring (though there is plenty of that), but about forgiveness and friendship. Through the eyes of the girls, we’re actually shown how important it is to love others, to love yourself, to forgive others, to forgive yourself, to accept where one falls short and to celebrate triumph.
Photo: New Line Cinema
When all was said and done, Samantha decided that she had to be true to herself and leave Smith in Los Angeles while she returned to New York City, Miranda and Steve were able to let true and real love create forgiveness and move forward even stronger than before, while Charlotte, Harry and Lily welcomed Rose to the family. And as we watched as the now Carrie Preston and John James Preston left New York City Hall after a touching reuniting of the two, my feelings changed from glad to sad. Truth be told, I felt the marriage between the two was completely unnecessary.
In one particular scene, as ‘Auntie Carrie’ is reading Cinderella to young Lily, she wisely states “you know, things don’t always happen like this in real life. I just think you should know that now.” And you know what? She was right, and that’s the irony of it. In this film, Cinderella did get her prince and they did live happily ever after. While it didn’t bother me that John and Carrie found reconciliation, but the actual marriage was unnecessary. They seemed perfectly happy in a common law relationship, having found the right balance between them.
Photo: New Line Cinema
That being said, the fact that all four of the ladies got a perfect ending, while it created closure to the story, seemed like a bit of a slap in the face. What I’ve always appreciated about Sex (as Jennifer also wrote), is that it’s better to lean on your friends and not be with a man out of desperation. The show always made me feel like it was okay to not be living a fairytale life, and that sometimes fairytales are just that.
However, do not get me wrong. In retrospect, I enjoyed the film very, very much. It was precisely what any Sex fan needed to make the circle complete and it won’t be the only time I see it on the big screen. It’s all perfectly peppered with sweet memories, humour, laughter and tears. If you haven’t seen it yet, and I haven’t already completely ruined the film for you, get thee to the theatre immediately…and make sure you wear something fabulous.
And so for those of you who have seen it, thoughts? Comments? Critiques?
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11 Comments
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The series to me had always been about the friendship between the four and not so much the relationships that had come and gone in their lives. Any of us would be so lucky as to have one or a few close supportive friends as such. That in the end they all got what they wanted was a bonus. I thoroughly enjoyed the movie and it left me feeling satisfied…and I didn’t nod off once!
I totally agree with you on the ‘perfect ending being a sort of slap in the face’. I kind of felt the same way about the way the series ended-off. Perhaps I’m a little too close to the trees to see the forest on this one, but I related very personally to everything Carrie went through as she tried to get over Big - heck, I even dyed MY hair brown a couple of months back to camoflauge myself while I was trying to get my life back in order after my own big break up - everything up to the part where ‘Oh wow, look, Big is still single and pining away for Carrie’ and then the ‘Oh look, they’ve had a year apart but they’re still in love’ ending. Maybe I’m a little too cynical still to buy into the happy ending? My hair is STILL brown, afterall…
I was also kind of disappointed with Charlotte & Samantha’s storylines… they just didn’t seem as well developped as Carrie’s (obviously) and Miranda’s (which I loved, btw… then again, I’ve always been a bit of a Miranda-fan).
I agree with much of what you said, Tania. While I actually loved the impeccable comedic relief that Samantha and Charlotte provided, I feel the same way you do about Carrie. For me, she has long epitomized so much for so many girls that aren’t married and have yet to experience their fairytale endings. Everyone says that something in life is bound to happen that’ll bust up that cynicism we women build up around us, but I’ll be tapping my toes until if and when that time comes.
First of all, fabulous post, my dear.
I agree with everything that you said. I also think that the actual marriage was unnecessary. Carrie and Big were happy together on their terms, and I kind of respected that more somehow.
Although, I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to still hoping for a fairytale ending for myself…one day (which doesn’t necessarily equal a wedding or marriage, mind you)…but for as much as I’ve related to and identified with Carrie over the years…and despite my cynicism, I do still want to live (mostly) happily ever after too. I think I forget sometimes…but Carrie’s happy ending didn’t come until she was into her forties…that gives me a lot of time to find Mr. Right at the same rate she did.
And if I never find him? I have the most amazing friends to be my soul mates…and I could not be more thankful for them. One of my favourite scenes in the movie is when Carrie goes over to Miranda’s on New Year’s eve…because that’s what friends do. That scene made me realize that even if their relationships with the men in their lives didn’t work out, they would be able to get through it because they had each other.
I so want to go see it again right NOW.
I agree - in my review, that’s precisely what I said - that to me, friendship is the ultimate love.
I think it would have been so much better if Carrie and Big stayed separated.
well i liked your post
i have to see as a huge fan of the series, Big DROVE ME AROUND THE BEND in this movie, he couldn’t have been more apathetic if he was George Bush himself
carrie got “carried” away with the wedding, but come on, to leave her at the “alter/bookshelf” that way — i don’t know if i could forgive that, or, in fact I would always be waiting for the manolo to drop, that guy is f*ucked up beyond belief
also, come on, Big…you live in some swanky NY apt, drive around in a limosine - he is pretention incarnate - but a fancy wedding he cannot handle? yikes
i know, i know - -a story, just as a writer, the consistencies fall short
here’s my spin on post wedding reality:
Big has his 8th mid life crisis in 4 years on their 2nd year anniversary, we discover he is actually diagnosed as a narcisist and he leaves one night to pursue his dream of owing a cigar factory, and is in debt millions to the market. Aiden divorces his designer wife because she turns out to be a withholding, raving bitch, and he can’t seem to love a woman of any other kind…he meets up with Carrie in the street and they decide to settle for each other as they should have done years go…they both die at 79 apathetic toward the world and each other with their only true pleasure being gardening.
HE HA! i am seriously not that cynical
Noooo…no more Aiden. He was a whiny, needy man who acted too much like the chick in the relationship. I couldn’t stand how clingy he was with Carrie. The dude had way too many issues we never learned about…
yes i couldn’t stand aiden either; however, the story line was akin to that time in their lives where women don’t want the man who is accessible and open, they want a chase
and unfortunately they get burned over and over again for it
you get older your legs get tired and waht you want changes
i liked the steve/miranda story line, i thought it was realistic and relateable
damn
If you don’t mind, I’d like to add my 2 cents.
I used to think I’d be okay never marrying again, but there is something more official about being married, than there is about having a “boyfriend”.
I was married once (@ 22), and ending it and getting divorced was just as official as the marriage. I didn’t understand who I was at 22 though. I was then in a 7 year common law situation. He wanted to marry me but deep down I knew I didn’t want to marry him, and sure enough after attempting to make it work, I left. Single again @ 33.
Then I met the man I am with now. We became friends first. He is still my best friend.
I don’t think women should “Settle” in a relationship for the sake of having one. I don’t need a boyfriend as an accessory to my life. I don’t need fairy tale romance that is sold in movies. But I do need a best friend, a real person, a partnership and a man I can spend my life with that respects me enough to marry me.
I don’t need the huge wedding bullcrap, or the trappings that men run from. I don’t even need kids and the like. I don’t need to control a man and I don’t want to be controlled. That isn’t what I want, they sell those relationship horror stories in movies too. No wonder men run!
I think the final point is, you should always have a life full enough with friends, family and full of yourself so that you could reasonably live it without ever getting married or needing to have a man just for the sake of it.
Yet the man that respects you for having that completeness without him, and knows he is respected for his life outside yours… that is the perfect ending.
As sappy or silly as it sounds. I love waking up to find my man in bed next to me. I could live without him sure… but why would I want to? Sure I could spend my life with him without ever getting married. However I would very much like to become his wife, I’d be proud to be his wife, and it would make me feel like the relationship is complete.
Okay that was more like 10 bucks than 2 cents… haha