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Few things get me revved up as much as discussions with friends about personal values, particularly when my personal values and ideas line up with those of my close amigos. There is something about verbalizing ideas that causes those thoughts to not only process on a deeper level, but it also allows the particular concepts to solidify. Last night, I met with Amy over gourmet cheese and fresh baguette bread before meeting up with some of her friends. Being that we come from the same place, the Comox Valley, it seems only natural that we honour the same principles in our lives.

I have long been a traditionalist. Discussing the concept of traditionalism is nothing new on my blog, and I very recently wrote a piece on my views of the differences between men and women. And while I can appreciate each person’s desire for individuality and the right to choose, I believe that people lose their grip on what matters a little bit more with the turning of each generation. In fact, being seen as a “traditionalist,” much like being a woman who chooses to embrace her womanly duties, is somewhat frowned upon.

Photo: Joey Harrison on Flickr

The truth is, I can’t recall how Amy and I even got into this topic, but it relates to almost every aspect of our lives: be it a job, a relationship, a marriage. Mindsets are not the way that they used to be. Take marriage, for example. Thirty years ago, most people that were wedded believed that it was a choice for life, and often the reason a church sanctioned a union was to bless the couple and recognize the blood covenant they were making before God. “Well, if it doesn’t work out, I can always get a divorce,” is a phrase now heard all too often. Sadly enough, if that’s what one is thinking before entering into a marriage, chances are they will get divorced.

Don’t like your job? Don’t get along with one of your co-workers? “Oh well, I’ll just look for something else instead.” For some reason, the grass is always greener on the other side. Why work hard for something or put a little bit of effort out when you can just switch things up like one changes their socks?

We want all the perks, benefits, riches, accumulations and possessions we feel we deserve from life, but are willing to put out as little effort as necessary to achieve those goals. And further, it seems as though we, generally speaking, have this innate desire to remain autonomous, even when entering relationships. People are afraid to shut doors on opportunities, chances, new job offers and the like and so one must maintain a sense of independence.

Original Photo: duckiemonster on Flickr

It seems to me that in order to have a grounded approach to life, one must revert to grassroots theories. Life is short. Yes, it is very short. In fact, I sit here at 27 years old and wonder how I got even this far. And I know that in 10 years my tits will sag a bit. In 20 years I’ll have children in high school. In 30 years I’ll be a handful of birthdays away from retirement. In 40 years, I may be all alone. Perhaps tomorrow I’ll be all alone. We don’t know - no one knows. This is why making choices in our lives is of huge importance.

By making choices, I don’t mean “I choose to go to college and I choose to get a good job.” By making choices, the implication is that “I choose to change how I feel about or view the circumstances in my life.” And the hardest part is that it doesn’t always mean taking the easy way out or the path most travelled. There are no guarantees that you’ll love every minute of your job, that you will always get along with your dearest friends or that your spouse won’t drive you absolutely nuts on some days. What you can do is make “I choose…” your mantra.

“I choose to embrace the fact that I have a means to putting bread on the table and give it the effort I am capable of.”

“I choose not to be angered over that man cutting me off at the intersection.”

“I choose to love my husband today, despite the fact that my emotions dictate me otherwise.”

“I choose to forgive my friend’s wrongdoing because she meant me no harm.”

Sometimes it means being the bigger person. Sometimes it means being the more humble person. Making these kinds of choices most often means bucking the easy way out that society offers you and instead displaying fortitude. Taking a traditional philosophy doesn’t equate to being submissive or settling in a circumstance or fleeing at the first sign of trouble. Being traditional means knowing yourself, knowing what you’re capable of, knowing what’s real and of great internal value and honouring those things.

Sometime you have to ask yourself how truly gratifying instant gratification really is.