ONE ORDER OF HUGS, PLEASE
If there’s one thing you can never have too much of, and one thing I don’t get enough of, it’s hugs. I made this statement on Friday afternoon, en route to the ferry, to my friend Susan. In fact, one major selling point to going home to my mom’s so often is the fact that hugs are in abundance there. In a city that can often be cold in more ways than one, this girl doesn’t get nearly the number of hugs she needs.
Photo: Sarah606 on Flickr
Several years ago, I read a book by Gary Chapman titled ‘The Five Love Languages.’ In it, Mr. Chapman outlines what he believes are the fives ways in which people give and receive their feelings of love towards another. He concluded that everyone falls into at least one, most often two, and in some cases a bit of all five categories. After burning through the pages of his book, I came to the realization that my love languages are ‘Words Of Affirmation’ and ‘Physical Touch,’ the latter being my primary language.
“Physical touch is very important. In a crisis situation, a hug can communicate an immense amount of love for that person. A person whose primary love language is physical touch would much rather have you hold them and be silent than offer any advice.”
It is that very reason that I love to give hugs to the people I love as much as I love to receive them. That being said, not receiving hugs or some sort of physical touch when needed is often self-internalized as rejection. However, don’t get me wrong; I am not writing this out of an experience of rejection. My reason for writing this is simply that I believe that, no matter a person’s love language, everyone could use more hugs.
Photo: Breathe Culture on Flickr
I’m most certainly not referring to the one-armed camp counselor hug, the awkward and frozen “three pats on the back and let me go” kind of hug or even the grab and squeeeeeeeeze to death. I believe more people should be less afraid to wrap their arms around someone, to show them that they care and not just through an e-mail or through words. A warm hug to a wounded soul is like chicken soup and 80s movies to the flu. Sometimes it’s just what the doctor ordered, and even better when it’s unexpectedly on the menu.
Let’s start a hugging revolution. Who’s with me?
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10 Comments
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Mommy hug coming right at you!
*hugz*
love ‘em and can never have enough of them!
Hugs are the best! I’m all for the hugging revolution!
Strangely enough, 90% of the time I have an extreme aversion to physical contact. People touching me, or even threatening to touch me (weather it be a family hug or otherwise–my mom’s Dutch, so she’s definitely into the hugs) makes me feel awful. It’s hard to describe. It’s like that creepy crawly feeling you get when you watch spiders walk. But not. Makes me shiver and flinch away uncontrollably, which, of course, is often misinterpreted. (Ah! I know what it’s like - if you have ever heard the sound of a electric razor near your ear, it can give you that electricity up your spine feeling which fits this perfectly.)
Anyway, I’m glad you’re a hugs person, ’cause right now I’m OK.
*hugs*
My mom always sings me the Charlotte Diamond (remember her?!) song that goes “four hugs a day, that’s the minimum, four hugs a day, not the maximum” whenever I’m around her. It is amazing how a simple hug can make all the difference sometimes. But having had mostly guy friends for the past 15 or so years, I have gotten out of the habit of hugging someone when I greet them. Luckily I have a new friend that is changing that
one hug coming right UP!
i have affection issues but i think i’ve been doing a bit better with them lately.
I am a natural born hugger, so here’s a hug to you from blogger to blogger
(and from bowler to bowler!)
when i see my daughter’s friends at school (she’s 6) running up to hug her in the morning it strikes me how much we change over time, its very sweet
although when someone who dooesn’t know me hugs me i find it weird (thank you Catholic school)
one of the reasons i have gotten out of hugs is because so many people who hug, hug everyone and it is phony
Hugs are in abundance - you just have to ask - hugs aren’t the greatest sometimes when you don’t see them coming - kind of like when people stand WAY too close to you in the Starbucks lineup - ewwwww. So….ASK!!! and you shall be handsomely rewarded.
awwwww