WANTON WEDNESDAYS: WEEK 12
DOUBLE THE PLEASURE, DOUBLE THE FUN?
The concept of group sex, meaning sex between more than two people, has been practiced for almost as long as men and woman have existed. In fact, it’s something that dates back nearly 5,500 years. In many cultures, group sex and orgies were considered to be religious custom, and were an accepted and encouraged part of life. Men took many mistresses, women took many lovers and partners were seemingly swapped like baseball trading cards.
Group sex knows no boundaries, be it gay or straight, male or female. Some instances include only heterosexual encounters, while others take a more casual, ‘whatever goes’ stance. To truly characterize group sex would be next to impossible. For every person that fantasizes about it, each fantasy in itself is unlike any other.
Photo: numberstumper on Flickr
For something that has come to be practiced more widely than most might venture to guess, group sex is not without its misconceptions and negative press. Many religious and right wing groups hold the belief that any sex that is not monogamous is wrong, while some simply wish to take a “don’t ask, don’t tell” attitude and keep the canoodling behind closed doors.
Like the countless other aspects of sex, who’s to say what’s right and what’s wrong is indeterminable. It’s completely a personal choice, devoid of societal influence. By that, I mean that it’s not something that one typically tries just because everyone else is doing it, like licking up the latest and greatest ice cream flavour. For most, the issue of whether or not to leave the bedroom door open for business is fairly black and white.
Photo: El Tipo Gráfico on Flickr
While I carry no qualms with group sex, it’s not something I’ve scribbled onto my ‘to-do’ list, literally or figuratively. Though, that’s not to say that between the right people and with ample communication, it is most likely a very fulfilling experience for those that wish to do the double-team deed.
Like most people in their 20s, it’s something that at one time or another I’ve either been asked to do or asked whether or not I’d be willing to participate in it. I can’t say that the idea hasn’t intrigued me at one time or another, but were the idea to ever play out on the big screen, being the third party is undoubtedly the only way to go. Why could I never indulge in the idea while in a relationship? No, and for the single reason that seeing another person’s hands on my man, and vice versa, would no doubt induce a lethal dose of vomit and anxiety for this young devotchka.
Here’s where the fun comes in…it’s show n’ tell time. If you’re willing to share with the class, let us know your thoughts on ménage à trois and more. Where do you stand on the great group debate? Positive experiences? Negative experiences? Throw your ideas this way and let’s talk.
* Whether your current sexual situation is solo, with a partner or into the great galaxy beyond, please visit Health Canada’s Sexual Health and Promotion website for solid facts and information on safer sex. *
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7 Comments
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normally i stay mum on these, although a great series.. crap series… SO should have nominated you darn it!!!!! next year. anyways… adc is well aware of my past so ya.
“By that, I mean that it’s not something that one typically tries just because everyone else is doing it, like licking up the latest and greatest ice cream flavour.”
so very true. both times it ‘just happened’. once with two guys, once with myself, a friend with benefits and a g-f.
both experiences were obviously extremely different the first because the guys were not comfortable being naked in front of each other to say the very least, this left me not wanting to and thinking i’d never do it again. since then i have met so many men who have had sexual experiences with other men and are not gay that i wish it could have happened with dudes like that.
second was wicked awesome, lasted hours, HOLY, what a way to go out… i met abc just weeks after… although, the friendship with the g-f did not last, i felt really odd around her after and our friendship came to a nasty emotional end having been so intimate with one another. although im very glad i had that experience i have no desire to ever take part in any form of group sex again. before marriage was good times, after marriage is new times but between abc and i.
im friends with one person who is HUGE into the group sex scene to the point they host parties etc. i could never share the man i love no way no how.
should i have just said one negative one positive but w/loss of friendship?
ps. that second photo is priceless.
I don’t like how taboo the topic is - and that doesn’t mean that John and I are swingers by ANY means. I just mean that we got looked down upon for attending the Sex Show and signing up to win some amazing vacations because they were at “adult resorts”.
I was told by a skeptic that “you go there and everyone sticks their room keys in a fishbowl” which is far from the truth. I think it would be fantastic to go on a holiday with my husband and go topless or nude on the beach if it was allowed - that by no means equals me wanting to watch him with other women or wanting to be with other men at the same time. Geez people.
i did it once with 2 guys. it was interesting and an experience, but there was too much goin’ on, i guess you could say. My friend described a threesome once as being alot like that Pogues song…Home for a Rest…you have no idea how to keep the beat no matter how hard you try…the attention was nice though, admittedly.
i have never done it wiht a girl and a guy and have no inclination to. i’d rather be with a girl on my own, truth be told, however, i will never do the open sex thing again, that ship has sailed and i don’t want any other partners other than the man i love …
I’ve always just said to each their own. If your comfortable with it, and all partners involved are good to go, why not?
That being said, I’ve never, and have absolutely zero interest in taking part in anything like that. If i saw another girl doing to my boyfriend anything vaguely resembling what I do to my boyfriend, there would definitely be a problem.
I don’t like to share.
One of the biggest problems with group sex I find is that everyone has to be into everyone, or otherwise it becomes awkward. I’ve done threesomes and foursomes and I’ve had experiences where more than one partner was into me but not into another person (and a couple of times where two or more were into my partner but not really into me) so it became really awkward.
I’d be happy to be in a threesome with an established couple as long as they’re perfectly ok with it and we are all into each other. And of course, that’s assuming that I am single at the time. Otherwise, no swinging or cheating. I’m a bit of a prude that way
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I’ve taken part in a group scene only once before, Where it was my two guy friends and I, and these two other girls. There was no awkwardness between any of the guys (none of them are gay either), and there was no akwardness between the girls (none of them ar gay too). It was just a good time, and everyone was into everyone.
I feel that the awkwardness comes about when people arent into one another, and some people get left out, or if people are not confident with their own bodies and try to ”hide” during the event, while still trying to take part. This just turns it into an all our mess.
It is definitely one experience I won’t forget, and yes, I’d do it again if I was with the right people again.