Keira-anne.com

LOOK BUT DON’T TOUCH

As a young girl, Lady Luck was always on my side - at least when it came to winning things. I entered contests left and right and accumulated a pretty little collection of prizes. Nothing, however, was ever as embarrassing to receive in the mail as my Coneheads prize pack, complete with conehead skull cap.

Two years ago, as I wandered through the Bay in downtown Vancouver, I quite literally bumped into a ballot box. The winner received a sitting with the Bay’s in-house photographer and one 5″x7″ print. “Sounds like fun!” I thought to myself as I scribbled down my info on a scrap of paper and stuffed it in. Before I knew it, I received a call informing me that I’d won.

Now, I’m no idiot - I knew it was a promotional thing but I thought the opportunity to have my photo taken would be an exciting one because, as we all know, I enjoy taking photos of myself. And, quite obviously, I’m not the only one.

I arrived at the studio at the appointed time one evening the following week, oddly not excited at all. I thought that I could snag a few portrait photos for my mom and be done with it. I didn’t even dress in anything exciting. When I got there, I realized that it was an actual professional photography studio. As the main man himself, Kevin James Day, was too costly to sit with, one of his associates was to take my portraits. She got to work in one of the studio rooms, but Mr. Day sauntered in after about 20 minutes and said to his associate “on second thought, I’ll take her photos.”

A few more minutes passed, a few more portraits snapped. I engaged in a bit of conversation with the man with the camera and began inquiring about his photography background. I knew what I wanted to ask, but I wasn’t sure I could.

“So…umm…” I stalled. “Do you…do artistic nude photography too?”

“Yup, I take all kinds of photos.”

I was shaking a bit and a tad nervous but I came out with it: “Can I take some artistic nudes instead of these portraits then?” What was I thinking?!

“Sure - these photos can be whatever you want them to be.”

You wouldn’t believe how quickly I whipped off everything but my jeans.

Photo © Kevin James Day

What was to be a half-hour portrait session turned into two and a half hours of me parading around the brick and hardwood studio in not a whole lot of clothing. There was something incredibly freeing about the entire experience - to say that it was liberating would be cliché, but it couldn’t be more true.

Looking back on that experience, it still surprises me. I have long been comfortable with my body and within my own skin. A week later, as the photographer and I flipped through all my proofs, he exclaimed “it’s amazing how you just did what you did…most of my clients book a session like that three months in advance and haul ass at the gym until that time.” Now on my bookshelf sits a little leather-bound book that will always remind me of my day of liberation - a book that few have seen.

Perhaps it was a combination of factors, or perhaps it was the simple fact that the studio with the 15-foot ceilings came complete with 15-foot windows. Because you see, I have long been somewhat of an exhibitionist. My thought regarding nudity is “why not?” There’s nothing shameful or embarrassing about our skin or about our bodies.

We all have “flaws.”

Exhibitionism runs much more densely than just padding around one’s apartment in the buff. There’s everything from the thrill of open windows to topless sunbathing (which, yes mom, I used to do in our backyard - thanks for the warning that the BBQ repairman was coming over that one particular afternoon) to the hopes of getting caught having sex in public.

My one personal - and somewhat weird - disclaimer? If I think that you think I’m hideous, I cover up and hide and turn all the lights off. I become the complete antithesis of how I really feel about being nude.

And the flipside? There are always those who like to watch (known as voyeurs). I can’t much comment on that because it’s not the side of the coin I prescribe to but I’m sure there are many reading this that do.

Today’s question to you all: do you like to watch or to be watched?

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