Right Now I Hate Everything
It’s 12:52 p.m. and I’m sitting in an Internet cafe in Victoria. I think I’m on Yates Street. I just bought some legwarmers, but they absolutely did not work for me in the way that retail therapy should.
Did I mention that things suck right now? Okay, I’m being a bit dramatic by saying so, but it feels like they do. Coming over here yesterday, we missed the ferry and got stuck at the terminal for two and a half hours. We played Keno to pass the time. Driving into the city I had a bad feeling. Here I am hanging out with all these people that are two, three and sometimes four years younger than me. Why?
I miss him and I’d rather be with him right now. And always. And I’m a huge fucking idiot who made an even huger fucking mistake.
It’s been almost twelve hours since I had my last drink but I’m sure the tequila is still talking from inside somehow. Houseparties and Lucky Bar? Shots of tequila and bottles of Lucky? That’s not me. So why did I pretend that it was. The bar was full of people in their early 20s, a piece of my past showed up and gave me that all-too-knowing look that made me feel even more emotionally wrecked.
I feel ditched out on by my friends here, even though that’s not technically the case. We’re all supposed to see Titanica at IMAX at 2:00 p.m. but I ditched out to talk to all of you until then. Alone time was very necessary. I just want to get on the bus and go home. I miss my mom. I actually miss Vancouver. I miss him. Shit. Bye.
Oh and my cell phone’s dead.
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3 Comments
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Hi Keira-Anne,
I hope your heartache subsides soon.
From my own experience, even if people tell you “this too, shall pass” it really never does. So all I can say is ‘hang in there’. Sending you some positive vibes from the Vancouver blogosphere.
oh can I ever relate to this post…
My cell phone is dead too. And to honest, I don’t care.. Sometime’s it’s nice to to have people get a hold of you.
Some guys convinced me to do the tequila thing on Friday as well. Not a bright idea, considering my liver isn’t 20 anymore.