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Everyone would like, at one point, to own their own home. It also goes without saying that nearly everyone probably has a “dream home” that they’d build if they could. I couldn’t really care less what my future house looks like, as long as it has a kickin’ kitchen. One that I can cook, bake, entertain and generally just hang out in. It should be the heart of the home. However, tonight I had a great idea. If I ever have the means of building my own home one day, this is what I will install:

There will be a long hallway with a huge three-way mirror at the end. All along the hall, on either side, there will be built-in boxes. These boxes will be much like those seen in the hall in “Return to Oz” but without glass encasings. One halogen bulb will illuminate each box, and in each box, I shall display a pair of Keds - much like a pedestal. If I’m wealthy enough to build my own home, I’m wealthy enough to own 20+ pairs of Keds.

On a side note, according to Garlic Central, garlic has powerful anti-oxidant and anti-viral components, as well as being beneficial in keeping cholesterol levels down. Lucky for me I just ate a whole whack of garlic at Brock’s tonight with the guacamole I made (I tripled the amount of garlic the recipe generally calls for) and the enchiladas we baked. I’m sure the people on the bus ride home were appreciative of the way I smelled.

Last night I saw the very best concert I’ve never been to. When Jaysen (more on him in a bit) invited me to the DVD Launch Party for Madonna’s The Confessions Tour DVD, I was a tad excited to be invited to such an event. However, I’m not really one for watching live concert footage - I get bored easily. My expectations went right out the window within the first 30 seconds.

Confessions is not a concert. Confessions is a stage show - and an amazing one at that. A massive set, a menagerie of dancers with mind-blowing skill, dazzling costumes and ridiculously unbelievable choreography only served to compliment the majesty that is Madonna. It’s really more like watching Cirque du Soleil. After the show, I made a specific point of thanking Jaysen for the invite because I really needed a refresher of how fabulous she truly is.

The show lasted a precise 121 minutes and was a lovely blend of new and old tracks. A few of the songs got a new twist which provided some lovely orgasms for the ears. The band re-worked Lucky Star, Like A Virgin, Erotica and Let It Will Be for the show and brought new levels of deliciousness to the backtrack.

The low of the show: Madonna gyrating on a horse saddle for her new rendition of Like A Virgin - it couldn’t have been more blatant sexuality.

The high of the show: Second-time around dancer, Daniel “Cloud” Campos. The man is simply beautiful. Not to mention 24 and STRAIGHT! I mean seriously - look at that! Feck!

Watch the quick video below for a preview of the DVD. I really encourage you to check it out if you get the chance. Either that, or pop on over because I won a copy of the DVD, accompanying CD, poster and movie tickets at the Party.
As I mentioned before, it was Jaysen (aka Mina Mercury) that invited me to last night’s show. He is, without a doubt, the biggest and most devoted Madonna fan I have ever met. It goes without saying that when he does his drag shows, it’s Madonna he pays tribute to. That being said, this Thursday is Confessions Night at Celebrities Night Club and Jaysen is performing a seven-song set from the tour, complete with replicated dance moves, costumes and dancers. It’s only $5 and partial proceeds go to Raising Malawi, so you have no excuse to not be there (unless you’re like me and heading to the Island for the weekend), so here are the details (click to make them bigger):

I present to you, my faithful readers, a blog post of randomness. You know you love it. Caution: Spoilers Ahead.

Last Friday I went with three girls from work (and one daughter) to the U.S. for a law firm-paid shopping trip. No, we didn’t get spending money, but the hotel, meals and gas were paid for. I spent money at Victoria’s Secret. I got cute stuff at Victoria’s Secret. I blew 2/3 of my budget at Victoria’s Secret. But dang do I ever have some hot skivvies!

When we went to Nordstrom at Alderwood Mall in Lynnwood, I found a pair of Keds. These Keds had killer whales on them but I hesitated and decided to wait. Now I am kicking myself. They are exclusive to Nordstrom. That’s right, kids…you can’t even find them on the Keds website. Not yet, at least. Thank goodness Brock has a U.S. postal box, as does Austin. Time to hit up the friends for a favour. I shall bribe thee with enchilada goodness.

Next Thursday I am going to take the ferry home to Vancouver Island. I want to go snowboarding on Friday. If I’m a lucky girl, I just might get to have a SLEEP-OVER in the Parksville Mini-Golf castle on Thursday night. That’s right, kids…it pays to have friends that own mini golf courses.

There are only four episodes of the OC left. That makes my heart sad. Kirsten Cohen is pregnant. I am done with my randomness for tonight.

I don’t feel like blogging right now.

*Post Edit:

Okay, I take that back. Ashley (who is a pretty darned amazing photographer) took some pretty darned amazing photos of Emily Dyck when Miss Em was out in Calgary, and I just had to share one because it’s pretty darned amazing. Emily is beautiful, but we all already knew that.

Click here to check out the rest of the photos.

I got a jumpstart on my weekend today. I still had about $45 left on my Bay gift card, so I wandered in there at lunch today. Miraculously, I found myself in the shoe section. Normally I hate shopping for shoes. I asked a salesgirl if they had any Keds and she said “no, we normally do but not right now.” Liar! I wandered towards the back of the shoe section and found these babies. They were regular $80, on sale for $40, plus an additional 25% off. Good deal? I think so.

Worship my feet.

I can’t sleep.

Life sucks.

Men suck harder.

I really do think Samantha Jones was on to something.

Thank goodness for Alderwood Mall this weekend.

I’m going on a materialistic splurge on Keds, Sephora, Victoria’s Secret, Zumiez, Bath and Body Works…

Okay, not a splurge. However, any girl knows that new stuff provides a lovely bandaid for any boo-boo.

Now accepting condom donations.*

*Donations of more than 50 condoms are tax-deductible.

It’s a lovely, sunny Saturday, so as I sit here in my skivvies and bra, I’m thinking “what better thing to do than blog?” True, I could be outside enjoying the weather, but all in good time. Austin’s about to hop on a bus to hang out with me. In nine minutes, to be precise.

Yesterday I bought a new record. I love buying new records because there is something so fulfilling to my ears about hearing brand new music. I was never a Scissor Sisters fan, and I simply didn’t bat an eyelash when they first came onto the scene. I heard “I Don’t Feel Like Dancin’” through a friend and fell in love instantly. After listening to my illegally downloaded version for a month and a half, I figured I owed it to the New Yorkers to actually pick up their album.

I love it!

It’s a luscious blend of ABBA meets Hall and Oats meets the Bee Gees meets Blur meets Daft Punk. I’m sure there are a ton of other artists I could pick out an influential sound of on “Ta-Dah!” but let’s face it…it’s sunny and I don’t have all day. Remember the first time you heard Elton John’s “Crocodile Rock” and felt like moving? This is what “Ta-Dah” does to you. And speaking of the Rocket Man, Elton co-wrote and plays piano on two of the tracks, “I Don’t Feel Like Dancin’” and “Intermission” to be exact. If you pick it up, and I recommend that you do, check out the track “The Other Side.” It’s by far my favourite.

Can you handle another review? I finished reading Rabbi Harold Kushner’s “How Good Do We Have to Be?” this week and was pretty blown away. The idea behind the book is that it’s about coming to a new understanding over guilt and forgiveness. I realized that these past few years of distancing myself from the church (and, inadvertently, God) had nothing to do with my faith at all. The problem was in the people that were influencing my life, placing all of their expectations on me that were completely unrealistic.

I’m human, I make mistakes, sometimes I fail and I’m most certainly not perfect. God doesn’t expect me to be perfect either - He expects me to try. Because of this freeing realization, I’m finally able to come before God again and actually pray. I always figured if the Christians in my life expected perfection out of me, God must expect it too, so therefore I can’t go before Him. I’m not saying I’m in a place where I want to go back to church right now - in all honesty, that isn’t a priority to me. Regardless, reading Rabbi Kushner’s words was certainly something I needed to read. I definitely recommend that you give this one a read, whether you’re a Christian or not. It helps throw off a lot of the stuff that might be inhibiting your personal growth.

Anyways, pretty sure I’ve filled your brains with enough for now. Tonight I’m checking out the Taboo Naughty But Nice Sex Show at Canada Place with some friends after beer and wings at Wings on Granville. I’m really loving weekends.

The sun’s last few rays splashed the dashboard
And twinkled in my eyes between the branches
My body heaved lightly with each breath I took
I felt satisfied
I felt happy
I felt like there was nowhere else
My head rested against my sand-laden hair
I turned it to the side
There was your profile
There were the lips I love to kiss
Whispering along with Bob Dylan
I smiled at you
I don’t know if you saw it
I don’t know if you felt it
I smile when I think of you
I smile when I think of that moment
Everytime I hear that song
I will think of those sunrays
I will think of that warmth
I will think of those smiles
I will think of your song

That will have to be enough

Today I said good-bye

Bob Dylan - Knocking’ On Heavens Door (Live)

Hey look! It’s me again! Three days in a row…that must be some new sort of record. I’m happy (and somewhat surprised) to say that I do feel a tad better than I have over the last few days. Though let’s not count all our chickens, shall we? Work was well and went by quickly. After work I went to Science World with Darcy to see the Body Worlds 3 exhibit, which displays actual human bodies (and body parts) that have been preserved through plastination. I will say three things about the exhibit: 1) it was interesting; 2) it was not worth $25; and 3) it was an absolute money grab. The third was most apparent to us by the ridiculous amount of “souvenirs” available for purchase as you exit the exhibit.

I’m not rich. If I were, I’d have a lot of money. Unfortunately, I don’t have a lot of money. Although I suppose you could look at that as a good thing. If I were rich, I’d run amuck with the Visa card. One thing I do know is that I’d spend a lot of money here. Apparently business is slow in Edmonton because Vanessa spent a good chunk of the afternoon showing me the gorgeous goods from Kiki De Montparnasse. Honestly…what girl doesn’t need a gold-plated mini vibe, embedded with Swarovski crystals?

Alas, I am not rich, and nor will I ever be. I suppose I shall just have to be contented with La Senza panties with the odd extravagant trip to Victoria’s Secret.

Speaking of excessive riches, do you know how much Harrison Ford is being paid for the next installment in the Indiana Jones series?

$47 million dollars.

Yes. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Also, I’m a huge geek and found this on Vann’s website and totes ripped it off of her. I know that it’s next to impossible to tell, but yes Brock, “I” am wearing cherry Keds in that animation.

It’s a new day and do I feel any better than I did yesterday? No, not really. I talked at length with Vanessa this afternoon about anything and everything but myself, and focusing on something other than that which I’m dwelling on was actually somewhat beneficial. I wish that I felt better inside. I received a very encouraging e-mail from my old friend Scott today who not only reminded me that I’m human, but also that my feelings of inadequacy are completely normal and to be expected as someone who is human. We’ve been made in God’s image and we’re children of the King, but the best part is that we don’t need to feel perfect because we aren’t expected to be perfect. Sometimes it’s easy to struggle with feelings of self-worth. I know that it’s not permanent and I know that all of that which is causing me stress and hurt will lift. Now if only I could get there.

While surfing the Internet today at my very busy job, I stumbled across this photo. True, we are bombarded with photo after photo of slender celebrity day in and day out. This one, however, troubled me more than the others. Here, this Hollywood starlet (who will remain anonymous unless you can guess) can’t hide behind layers of chiffon all the time. And here, as she frolicks on the beach with her boyfriend, is where we finally see what lies beneath her clothing. Really, it makes me sad for a number of reasons. Perhaps she feels an unending pressure to look like that. It’s also sad that there are numerous young girls that will see this picture and think that not only does this young lady have a “perfect body,” but they will also think that it’s attainable. The truth is, to be so skinny is probably so unhealthy to the point that not only does she probably no longer have the ability to menstruate, I wouldn’t be surprised if her internal organs are suffering. To attain such a “physique” isn’t realistic, nor is it healthy.

True, I cannot speculate and say that all of this is fact because that would be unfair. A few months ago I mentioned an uproar in the fashion world when Madrid Fashion Week banned models whose BMI (Body Mass Index) fell below a certain level. An article was posted on Yahoo! today announcing that a select group of New York fashion big-wigs would be issuing guidelines on “skinny models.” This committee, comprised of names like designer Diane von Furstenberg and Vogue editor Anna Wintour, will be taking a look at this issue, which has been intensified following the deaths of models due to anorexia. If interested, read the entire article here.

And last, but certainly not least, as promised, I have posted some pics of my new Ikea make-over at my flickr page. Have a look if you’re interested.